


Faker

by PurelyChaos



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Budding Relationship, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Healing takes time, M/M, Mental Anguish, References to Depression, Romance, Slow Burn, Sonadow - Freeform, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, amy's a good character, good emotional dialogue, i swear we'll get to the notebook soon, just not in this fic, shadonic, shasoni, sonic gets the help he's been wanting from his former rival, this story doesn't have a clear path
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2019-09-13 18:06:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 35,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16897419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurelyChaos/pseuds/PurelyChaos
Summary: I never wanted this life, I just want to have the best times with people who truly care about me and just live a simple life of fun without deadly robots and the pressure to live up to someone I will never be. If only it were that simple, journal, if only I could live this daydream life. Sonic hates his hero expectations. They make him fake, unlike Shadow, who is real as ever. Sonadow.





	1. Chapter 1

_Entry one-_

Being a hero isn't fun, living up to the expectations are even worse. I can't remember the last time I could really be myself without the fans and paparazzi tailing me every step I take out into the public. Really, such a pain and I have no one to honestly talk to about this.

I do have friends, plenty of friends yet somehow I don't feel a true connection with any of them. It's taken me time to really process who I call a friend when really some of my 'friends' are just allies who tolerate me against a common evil.

It hurts a bit, no one really cares how I feel. I'm  _expected_  to save the day. I'm  _expected_  to worry only about the people. I'm the one who has to risk my life just because an idiotic and petty failure of a scientist decides that I'm his mortal enemy and he must seek out destruction to summon me.

I never wanted this life, I just want to have the best times with people who truly care about me and just live a simple life of fun without deadly robots and the pressure to live up to someone I will never be. If only it were that simple, journal, if only I could live this daydream life.

_. . ._

_Entry two-_

Another bitter rant I guess, Amy is quite persistent on being my girlfriend, won't ever take no for an answer. She's not my type, too bossy, too petulant, and fake. Although I can't say anything about that, I'm fake too. Huh, I wonder if Shads- I mean Shadow is right. I think in some sardonic way I like his little nickname for me. Faker, it suits me more than him. At least he doesn't hide his true self.

I'm too much of a coward to act out in fear of, disappointment? Shame? Whatever it is this isn't the point, the point is he is  _real_. He is much more stronger than I could ever wish to be.

Maybe I should invite him over in private and talk to him about this...no he wouldn't ever come unless it was a life or death situation. He hates me to ever take whatever I have to say seriously.

I think that's another stupid expectation oh so graciously given to me. I'm supposed to be brash, punch first then ask questions kind of guy. Not smart, just stupidly brave and lucky. I'm supposed to be never serious and I honestly regret filling up that expectation. Really, only an idiot can rush into battle without a plan and not take in many factors seriously, although I am pretending to be that idiot...

My kid genius brother Tails, even  _he_  doesn't see what's expected of him, if he does. Well damn, he sure likes to overachieve them with some of his creations. I'm never sure if I should talk to him about it again... the last time I did was maybe a few weeks before I got you, journal.

The hilarious-not really just sarcasm again- thing was the fact that he didn't believe me, he didn't see it. He even asked if I was okay, he tried to take my temperature and he just looked at me with this fear...like I was sick or insane.

So I'm never doing that again. He still gives me that look when he thinks I can't see him. Oh well, I think I lost some of my trust in him, don't get me wrong I still love him but I just don't feel the same anymore, talking about serious things.

If you asked anyone about me they would list what everyone thinks I am. It's exhausting at times, disappearing doesn't sound like a bad idea...nah that's too extreme at the moment. Wait, I'll speak with Shadow, I don't care anymore. I just need someone real to talk to. Even just once...

. . .

Sonic closed his journal, the first few pages filled with his private thoughts. His mind was buzzing with questions and his chest felt heavy with anxiety and fear. Maybe he was going crazy?

Sonic slipped the dull pencil through the spirals of plastic holding the paper together and possibly his sanity. He was careful when he bent down on one knee and his fingers lightly gripped the only loose floorboard in his room where he could keep secrets like the journal hidden.

A small spiteful smile made it's way onto his face. Time to seek out Shadow, and get Tails off his back. Pretty annoying being watched and studied, Sonic has had enough of that in his life.

* * *

**Short I know, random and chaotic probably not. This is a thought I've had in my head for a time and it won't leave me alone but I figured I may as well try. Ideas and low-key criticisms are welcome in the comments. If you have questions or want to chat just pm me or leave a comment :D. And obviously I don't own Sonic or SEGA I'm just writing for pleasure.**


	2. The Forest

Hesitation kept him from knocking. Just three simple little knocks. Yet his hand was shaking in it's place, hovering over the door with nervousness. He couldn't do it, he balled his hands into fists and cursed under his breath at his own cowardice.

He's fought and conquered many enemies and battles nearly his entire life. But he couldn't knock on a simple door? Sonic suspected why he really couldn't, going up and knocking on your rivals door just to ask if they understood what nonsense he was going to bring to him.

Sonic let his hands drop to his sides in defeat, a sigh left his lips and he did a turnaround and froze dead in his tracks, making a quiet squeak sound. Dark blood red hues met his own widened emerald hues. Sonic felt his breath hitch and catch in his throat and his face burning red, Shadow sure knew how to make a silent entrance.

"C-chaos! Hey there, Shadow. Didn't hear you coming." Sonic sheepishly laughed awkwardly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. The silence made Sonic feel antsy, especially Shadow raised a brow with a look of blank boredom that made Sonic's heart clench. Sonic faltered and averted his eyes to gaze at his shoes. "I'll just get going." Sonic made it only two steps away when a sultry voice swooped in.

"Don't mind him blue, he's just more grumpy than usual after we go on missions from G.U.N. that's all." Rouge teased Shadow who 'hmphed' with irritation. Rouge smirked, "Love ya too big guy." Sonic felt like he was intruding so silently he began to leave, wishing to go home and forget about everything and get rid of that journal with his private thoughts. He regretted thinking this was a good idea.

"Where are you going? You just got here." Rouge asked, concern leaked into her voice as she spoke. "Everything okay? You seem quieter."

"Him being quiet isn't the end of the world Rouge, it's nice to have some peace and quiet for once." Shadow voiced, Sonic's ears drooped at that with dejection, coming here was starting to feel more and more like a bad idea with each second. Shadow's arms crossed against his chest like he was waiting for something. "What? No foolish comebacks?" Sonic laughed shakily and shook his head.

"Not this time. I- erm. I should get going, Tails is uh, waiting up for me." Sonic lied, it was such a weak and bad lie and Sonic knew it the moment the words left his lips. Rouge and Shadow both gave him identical questioning looks of, 'you're kidding me' and Sonic bit his lip knowing that the two agents didn't believe a word he said. "Bye." He muttered lamely, and dashed off with his super speed, nearly breaking the sound barrier right at that moment.

"Kid's acting funny, Mr. Grumps. Be a grump and check that out?" Rouge batted her eyes, her ears flicked down in a kicked puppy dog expression. The ebony hedgehog made his typical 'tch' sound with annoyance.

"Why should I? Shouldn't we be glad he's not being cocky and annoying like usual?" Shadow questioned incredulously, Rouge stared into his eyes and Shadow's eyes shifted to where the cobalt hero had last stood trying to not fall for Rouge's pout. However, Rouge's nonverbal begging and the fact that he was curious caused his lips to pull down into a frown and he sighed defeated. "What do you want me to do? He's not really talkative when somethings wrong." A victorious smirk placed on her lips and she gave a thoughtful glance.

"Just hang around him, with your patience little boy blue's bound to crack under the pressure." The ivory bat shrugged, "You'll figure it out. Now if you excuse me, I've got some beauty rest that awaits me." She walked inside and winked, and shut the door leaving Shadow outside grumbling to himself. With the speed of his metal skates Shadow was gone after his brighter counterpart and rival.

...

...

Shadow was ready to give up, frustration knitted his brows together and he cursed loudly. Finding that damn cobalt hedgehog was proving to be fruitless, Sonic appeared to have disappeared from all places. He pinched at his temples and gently massaged to help sooth his growing headache.

He didn't even know why he really agreed to search for Sonic, it wasn't his place or his problem. However, he was curious to know why Sonic was even there at his home, which he shared with Rouge. He wasn't stupid, Sonic knew where they lived. There was no way Sonic wasn't there just to say hi and run away. The ebony hedgehog had luck befall to him when he tracked down Sonic into a sea of forest full of trees nearby. Then he lost him entirely. Shadow felt annoyed, he didn't need to find him and put all this effort into looking but here he was. Any tracks Sonic had left were gone by now and Shadow was cursing his luck once again.

"Why are you following me?"

Shadow was too prideful to admit that hearing Faker's voice whisper startled him, his ears twitched to figure out where the voice came from and red eyes met emerald once again. Sonic was laying against a tree high above Shadow amongst the branches. Shadow felt a little impressed that that's how Sonic had been evading him.

Sonic's face had a despondent expression. His body was slumped against the tree and his colors were dulled which surprised Shadow, his vibrant shade of blue was dulled into a darker less lively blue and his emerald eyes lost their bright glimmer. His ears and quills drooped down making him look miserable with his legs swinging slowly off the side of the large tree branch.

"Why are you hiding?" Shadow countered, Sonic shrugged.

"I asked you a question first," Sonic replied with a quiet voice, Shadow blinked at how childish Sonic seemed.

"Rouge thinks you're not okay, and that I should come and check on why." Shadow quickly concluded that was the wrong answer as Sonic looked more downcast and depressed after that.

"Well go tell her I'm fine, just tired is all." Sonic spoke with an irate voice. The younger hedgehog expected Shadow to leave with that explanation and was confounded when Shadow merely sat down on the forest ground with his back against a tree. "Aren't you going to. Ya know, go?" Shadow bit back a smirk and shrugged his shoulders copying Sonic's movement from earlier.

"You still didn't answer why."

"I'm not hiding, I just wanted to be in a quiet place to think." Sonic stated defensively. He looked away and asked, "Why are you still here? Don't you hate me?"

"I don't hate you." Shadow divulged, Sonic's head whipped to stare at him with a blank look on his face. His emerald eyes gave him away, they looked alive and full of spirit.

"But- You're always calling me annoying and an idiot. You've said we're rivals before." Sonic stammered out, Shadow sighed.

"That doesn't mean I hate you. You get on my nerves at times yes. However I don't truly hate you."

"You call me  _Faker_." Sonic muttered.

"And you call me  _Shads_." Shadow emphasized on 'Shads.' It took a few moments and then there was a dawning look on Sonic's face.

"So...like. That's my nickname, a friendly type of nickname?" Sonic asked unsure and hesitant.

"Yes." Sonic perked up in an instant, much a like a puppy would and Shadow felt himself giving Sonic a fast small smile which Sonic returned with no hesitation.


	3. I care...

After dashing away Sonic felt a deep regret and berated himself for leaving like that. Right now, all he felt was the need to just get away to somewhere secluded and quiet. Where he could tend to his thoughts and feelings alone. He ran over long meadows and hills leaving behind a trail of footprints and a blue blur. Eventually Sonic noticed that he was being followed, and this made him feel conflicted. Should he stop and wait for whoever was following him? He shook his head, he felt to upset and being alone was his first priority.

An idea popped into his head, the forest nearby had been one of his favorite places to go to whenever he went out just to escape his friends and civilians. With a sharp turn into the forest and sea of tall trees with different shades of green and oranges. Lately the hot summer began cooling down into a breezy fall and the trees were starting to change their colors and the leaves would start to fall soon.

It would be harder for a normal person to climb up one of these trees, but with Sonic's speed he easily jumped high into the air and landed on a thick tree branch. He steadied himself to keep him from falling and nearly dropped to his legs and slumped against the tree. The leaves and branches covered him up from anyone passing by so he was safe up here.

A dejected sigh left him, his plan on just conversing with Shadow went up into flames horribly. If anything, he most likely just made himself look even bigger a fool in the ebony hedgehog's eyes. His ears folded back down sadly, he glumly let his legs dangle down, they swayed forwards and backwards suspended in the air. He felt miserable and more depressed than earlier, he didn't know what to do with himself and it felt like there was  _nothing_  he can  _do_  and it felt like he ruined his chance to try to change that with Shadow.

There was a distant sound his ears picked up on and Sonic curiously glanced down with listless eyes. To his surprise it was Shadow who cursed loudly, the ground crunched under his feet and Sonic realized he was tracking him, by searching for his footprints. He felt a little glad he chose there to jump so Shadow can't find him that easily.

Minutes passed and a frown settled on his lips when Shadow didn't give up looking. Everybody else would've stopped and grew bored looking for him, and chalked it up to Sonic being in a different spot by then. Those times when he watched Tails, Knuckles, or Amy give up finding him had hurt a bit. He was there in plain sight most of those times but now he choose to keep himself hidden and ignore the pang of pain. It was confusing to see Shadow continue and he voiced it out without meaning to.

"Why are you following me?" Sonic whispered, he shut his mouth quickly with a hand when he soon found out Shadow could hear him. Shadow's red hues met his in an instant and zoomed in on him. A sort of bitter feeling crept up into his chest, he bet Shadow was only here because Rouge forced him to look. He schooled his features to not show anything he was feeling.

"Why are you hiding?" Sonic shrugged, he didn't know what to say or what to make of Shadow being here.  _'If I just 'be my self' I can annoy him and make him go so he's not wasting his time on me. I've bothered him enough.'_  Sonic thought to himself.

"I asked you a question first." He muttered, if being childish means Shadow would leave then he will be childish and petulant. Shadow merely blinked and he hesitated, did he really want him to leave though?

"Rouge thinks you're not okay, and that I should come and check on why." Shadow answered, it felt like there was a sharp pain in his chest. Of course. He had to bite his tongue to keep the crestfallen feeling he felt. Shadow was here because of Rouge. And Rouge didn't want to waste her own time so she just sent him. So, he was right. Everyone didn't care enough to try actually knowing Sonic or caring about him.

"Well go tell her I'm fine, just tired is all." His ears twitched up and he looked at Shadow with confusion written across his face.  _'What is Shadow doing?_ ' He asked himself. Shadow sat down and made himself cozy with his back against a tree. Shadow shut his eyes and lay his head back. "Aren't you going to. Ya know go?"

Shadow opened his eyes and shrugged while saying, "You still didn't answer why."

"I'm not hiding, I just wanted a quiet place to think." Sonic's voice was defensive and curt, Sonic turned his head away and stared at some leaves near him. "Why are you still here? Don't you hate me?" He couldn't believe what Shadow said next though.

"I don't hate you." Shadow confessed. Sonic's heart sped up and a spark of wonder shot through him. He kept his face blank though, not knowing that his eyes gave him away when he spun his head back to meet Shadow's gaze.

"But- You're always calling me annoying and an idiot. You've said we're rivals before." Sonic stammered out still not truly believing this, Shadow sighed.

"That doesn't mean I hate you." Sonic wanted to scoff. "You get on my nerves at times yes. However I don't truly hate you."  _'No that's not true.'_  A sad fleeting thought flickered through him.

"You call me  _Faker_." He muttered weakly.

"And you call me  _Shads_." The ebony hedgehog emphasized without missing a beat. Yes he calls him Shads as a nickname because he considered him a friend- oh.  _Oh._

"So...like. That's my nickname, a friendly type of nickname?" He asked, the uncertainty could be heard in his voice.

"Yes." Perking up much like a puppy would, Shadow gave a rare small smile to Sonic who gave one back. Sonic was beaming but his smile soon faded which Shadow did notice. The temporary euphoria disappeared and reality swept in.

"What's the matter?" Sonic shook his head and feigned a smile.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." Shadow crossed his arms, feeling displeased that Faker had lied to him again.

"You're obviously lying, you aren't fine." Sonic looked away awkwardly, with anybody else they would've left it at 'I'm fine' so he didn't really expect Shadow to question him. "What are you thinking about that's bothering you so bad?"

"It's." He stopped and hesitated. Should he really tell Shadow? He quickly made up his mind, Shadow seemed to genuinely care about him. "I don't know." Sonic shut his eyes and pulled his knees to his chest. A defensive and protective stance Shadow noted. "Or maybe I do. I don't know it so hard to explain." Shadow felt lost trying to discern Sonic's cryptic answer. Sonic's heart sank when he heard silence, Shadow must've grew tired of him and left...

The thick branch he was sitting on shifted and Sonic opened his eyes, with shock and surprise. Shadow was inches away from him staring intently into his eyes.

"What's wrong Sonic." It felt odd for him to hear him say his name, his real name. Sonic couldn't help it. "You aren't okay, so don't lie to me."

"I don't know who I am." Sonic uttered weakly, it was the same phrase he told Tails weeks ago. It was what made Tails concerned and cautious around him, even thinking that Sonic wasn't okay in the head. Instead of scoffing or mocking him and leaving, Shadow stayed.

"What do you mean?"

"I live up to what people say I should be. Living up to their expectations. I never wanted to do this, I never wanted to do this. I couldn't even talk to anyone about this." Sonic hugged his knees closer, "I just want to be myself. But I don't know who I am."

Shadow saw Sonic differently, this wasn't the same person he knew before. Here was a vulnerable and lost hedgehog, fragile and breaking from things he cannot see physically. He knew it was there, weighing the younger hedgehog down to his core and exhausting him and wearing him down. Looking into those emerald eyes, he could see the hurt and confusion Sonic felt. Before, Shadow knew Sonic kept something to himself, there was a facade he couldn't see but now he did.

_'Be gentle, listen and always show you care.'_  A soft feminine voice whispered, Shadow felt his heart clench at the familiarity of Maria's voice, he could envision her delicate appearance and compassionate spirit down to every detail. In moments or situations like this...Shadow could hear her giving him advice, as if she was standing beside him. It was one of his secrets, one that not even Rouge knew about.

"You don't have to listen to what people say you should be. You can always find out who you are." Shadow said with a firm tone. "I assure you, you don't owe anyone anything and you shouldn't hurt yourself trying to be someone you're not." Shadow thought back to what Sonic said and asked him, "Why can't you talk to anyone about this? Like your fox friend or the echidna? Wouldn't it be easier to talk with them than me? You know them more and vice versa." Sonic laughed, though it was hollowly.

"You'd think it would be." Sonic sighed. "I tried with Tails, it went completely wrong. He thinks I'm crazy and all that, now he's being all cautious and I can't even trust him anymore." Sonic looked Shadow in the eyes. "It's like everyone lives up to their own expectations, just because they like the attention and fame they get from hanging out with me. Even Tails, but he's my little bro- I can't blame him for changing."

Shadow wasn't sure what to say, figuring that he should let Sonic keep talking. Sonic continued, "But you- chaos this sounds weird but you're different and I thought I should talk to you. That's why I was there at your place earlier...I don't know what happened I just got scared because what if I'm just being stupid with this whole thing. Just making this into some big deal when it's nothing."

Truthfully, Sonic could say he wouldn't expect Shadow to do this ever. Sonic was wrapped in Shadow's arms in a light embrace which Sonic was limp for at first, Sonic returned the hug and felt a few tears roll down his face which surprised him greatly. He felt so safe, so protected in Shadow's presence and felt so comforted in his arms. It was the first time he felt so safe in a long time.

"Look Sonic," Shadow said quietly. "We were never close before...but I can tell you aren't okay. You obviously have some trust in me. Do you not?" Sonic didn't hesitate with his answer.

"Yeah. I do. I don't know why I do, and I don't understand why you're still here. You can leave, I- I won't hold it against you." Sonic tried backed away from the hug but Shadow didn't let go, Sonic struggled a little bit. "I'm just burdening my dumb problems with you. R-really Shadow. I shouldn't have bothered you."

"...I care." Sonic blinked and stopped struggling. "I want to help you." Shadow spoke in a low tone. "Will you let me help you?"


	4. Unmasked

**_Journal Entry-3_ **

**_Two days after the forest talk._ **

It feels like I can breathe fully again, I'm still so skeptic that this is what it took to make this heavy feeling disappear...even if it's temporary. Sleeping was hard for me so I got very little of it lately. I've just been thinking about a lot of the things that's happened recently and I know just enough to be able to write it down. Though I guess I'm still worried...that this is a joke. Yet it feels so real, and I have this trust in him. It's just really unexpected that it turned out like this. It took me years to be able to give some trust in Tails, and with Shads it took me hardly an  _hour_  to trust him so much.

Thinking back, I can't really forgive Tails for reacting the way he did when I tried to tell him my problem. It was the same phrase, the same words and everything. Yet he overreacted and jumped to so many conclusions that I can't even trust my own little brother with my problems. To be completely honest, Journal, I never could really tell Tails anything personal that was bothering me because if it wasn't dangerous then he didn't care. Then telling Shadow had come with different results, he cares and I'm actually really touched that he didn't give up on me at all and simply waited for me to admit what was wrong.

In the beginning when we first met, we weren't friends and we were barely anything friendly. We are- or were- rivals. It's just how it's been, and I can't deny the change in the rivalry. Before, I only trusted Shadow with hesitance. Now however I have to admit...I trust him with my life. To others I guess this would sound extreme or weird, or even both.

That day in the forest I slowly poured my heart out to him, I've only told him small things but we both know there's much more. It's only been a few days and Shadow has become my lifeline, I was falling so hard...to the point where I wished to hit the ground already. But now Shadow is pulling me up with everything he has and letting go is the last thing on my mind.

_"I care."_

_"I want to help you."_

_"Will you let me help you?"_

I hear his voice say each of these separately like it's a song on loop. Over and over I hear him speaking to me softly with kindness. My answer to him... of course I said yes. How could I not?

Though there is this nagging voice in the back of my mind. What if I bother him too much? What if I get too emotional for him? What if he stops caring just like everyone else did? Would he forget me and how I feel too? What if he started hating me and things go back to the way they were? I don't think- I  _know_  I wouldn't be able to not handle being alone again. I just can't...

. . .

Two days ago, the same day as the forest incident. Sonic cried in Shadow's arms until he fell into an exhausted sleep. Shadow found it distressing at how much pain Sonic felt and did his best to sooth the younger hedgehog, whispering words of understanding and tender sympathy. As silently as he could Shadow had transported both of them to his house with chaos control and were immediately greeted by Rouge.

"So how is he?" Rouge asked the second Shadow entered through the front door, the ivory bat wasn't surprised at all when Shadow came in with a cobalt hedgehog curled up in his arms sleeping peacefully. She flew next to him with her heels hardly reaching the ground and set up the couch in the living room for Sonic to lay on. Shadow instantly got a whiff of a delicious aroma and he raised a brow curiously after gently putting Sonic down. "Food after you tell me what happened." Rouge said with a cheeky smile, she spoke quietly so the sleeping hedgehog wouldn't wake up.

"I don't want to reveal the personal things..." Shadow muttered and Rouge nodded. Rouge placed a blanket on top of Sonic and her fingers lightly brushing through Sonic's ocean blue quills. She frowned at his lack of bright vibrant colors that looked dull. Up close she could see the circles under his eyes too and clicked her tongue disapprovingly.

"Poor thing..." She continued brushing her fingers through his quills and a soft content smile crept onto his face.

"I won't lie Rouge...I care for him as much as you do. And I told him this." The ebony hedgehog admitted, Rouge paused and stopped moving her hands, a soft smile lifted her lips up, she felt like beaming. It took lots of trust for Shadow to be so willing to admit he cares. "I've already decided that I'm going to help him." A thoughtful look crossed his face, "There is much more to him that we both don't know, and it will take a while to help him find himself."


	5. Amy Rose

_***LONG AUTHOR'S RANT* *IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ SKIP THE BOLD PLEASE*** _

**Generally I love Amy as a character a lot. I know she is a sweet gal, very smart with a bubbly positive personality. All she has is a crush on Sonic, yes she has gotten herself in danger chasing Sonic on his adventures but I know it's because she genuinely cares about Sonic. In fact she respects the boundary and is often just teasing him.**

**Please listen. I am not hating on her, trying to demonize her or any other characters at all. The story 'Faker' is based off some real events that I've experienced. It is FANFICTION though also! Obviously. And I had a very close friend just like Amy, bubbly personality and lovely fashion the whole thing. If you do not like it or agree with this, then please do not read and bully.**

**But she had severe anger issues, an overwhelming obsession over people, and was schizophrenic...she changed and I did everything I could to stay and help her. She became violent and abusive towards me, at some point I became a toy she'd play with and break. I was too weak and scared to fight back, it was during the bad times of my life I have learned to slowly heal over. My friend was one of my closest friends I've ever known, but she was very toxic.**

**This is personal to me, stuff I still never truly got over. To this day I carry physical scars on my body, and the mental scars are worse. I don't want pity or condolences, I'm merely explaining just why this chapter is the way it is. The reason I'm saying this is because of the harassment over Amy being demonized for Sonadow.**

**I'm sorry if I offended anybody. This is fanfiction, please don't harass over the way a character is portrayed. I use my stories selfishly by using them to sorta cope, write, and incorporate my problems into them. Amy seemed to fit my old friends bill so I chose her and wrote her the way I did. I know the real Amy wouldn't ever do this.**

**I respect all men and women, I respect ships and understand that there is an extent into shipping and obsessively using ships almost to kinks or fetishes. If it helps, Amy _does_ get help from professionals and isn't going to be a delusional fangirl as a filler character, I'm working towards making some character development over the chapters.**

**God I'm sorry for the rant but somebody in my p.m's said something that kinda hurt, ticked me off and made me go off on a rant so I decided to put out a warning.**

* * *

Amy was in a bad mood, first Sonic had missed their date which she planned and was a. He didn't even bother to call and apologize, in fact he never bothered to call her at all. It was like she is the only one putting anything into their relationship, but it's okay. Because unlike those little relationships everyone has aren't real or as important as Sonic and her's and that's because they are soulmates. Amy was determined to make Sonic grow up and settle down like her just like her mother always said she would.

Then it began to downpour rain heavily from the dark grey clouds in the sky which ruined her hair she had styled nicely which she got done just for Sonic. Her make-up that she had put on her face was smeared down her face, Amy's mascara ran down with the rain that hit her face and her eye-liner and contour had been absolutely messed up. Her brand new dress she got was soaked and Amy shivered in rage and from the cold.

Amy's mood soured as she neared closer to Sonic's home.  _'He better be here so I can yell at him! Maybe I'll hit him with my piko-piko hammer again to teach him a lesson.'_  Amy thought to herself while she fumed in the rain. Coming up to the door, Amy didn't feel the need to knock and just let herself in. After all, she is Sonic's girlfriend and one true love because they are meant to be.

Water pooled underneath her as she stood in one spot looking around for Sonic with narrowed eyes, and Amy gladly slipped off her heels that were killing her feet. The house was quiet except for the floors which creaked and groaned under her weight. Amy stood in the kitchen/dining room and made her way out into the narrow hallway and took a left down to the bedrooms and Tails' lab. Amy perked up when at the end of the hall she heard a heavy thud hit the ground and she stomped down the hall with her hammer clenched in her hands.

To the left at the end of the hall was Sonic's bedroom and to the right was Tails' room which he turned into his lab. Amy took the left and kicked open Sonic's bedroom door and opened her mouth to yell furiously at Sonic. However she stopped when she took sight that he wasn't there in the dark room, she stepped in and switched the light on. She was confounded, she was sure Sonic would be here as he hates the rain from his stupid childish fear! Why wouldn't he be home?

Frustrated the pink hedgehog suddenly had an idea, perhaps he was hiding from her like he normally would. So this means she would have to scare him out, raising the large hammer she slammed it down onto the ground with a loud thunderous boom that momentarily stunned her. Amy expected Sonic to jump out but he didn't, what she didn't expect was to see part of the floor cave in with something odd sticking out noticeably. She reached down and brushed away the small clusters of wood and dust and she picked up a notebook.

Amy dropped her hammer to the ground and stared at the notebook questioningly.  _'Why is this here? And why is he hiding it from me!? I'm his **girlfriend!**  He shouldn't be hiding any secrets from me!' _Her fingers flipped the notebook open to the first page and blinked. There were small entries here and there that she couldn't read, they were scribbled out on the first page. She turned to the next page and saw a neat entry that took up a good portion of the page. She checked for the next and briefly skimmed over it. This entry was longer than the first and Amy saw her name put down a few times and she squealed. ' _Is this his love letters for me?! Aw my Sonic is so sweet. I don't want to ruin it, I'll just leave it as a surprise for when he gives it to me.'_ Amy closed the book and hugged it to her chest swooning for Sonic.

"Sonic what was that!?" Amy turned around to see Tails peek his head into the room. "Chaos Amy hi, did you hear that boom? It sounded like there was crashing and screaming in here. I thought Sonic was doing something stupid and broke something like usual."

"Hi Tails, no that was me. I thought Sonic was hiding so I used my hammer," She pointed at said hammer. "To try and scare him out. Sorry if I scared you." She giggled. Tails looked bemused and a little annoyed and the sight of Amy soaked and with black smears streaking around her eyes and down her cheeks was creeping him out a little.

"You broke the floor Amy, oh whatever it's his problem." Tails waved it off as did Amy and the two forgot about the broken floor, "Where is he anyway? Haven't heard him all day."

"I was just going to ask you that. He missed our date and didn't call or anything! I can't believe he would do this to me!" Amy cried out, but she sighed and thought about the notebook. "But he did leave me some love letters and it's so kind of him." Tails looked bored and nodded barely paying attention to Amy, his attention was on the wrist communicator he wore that he was tapping at quickly and made tiny beeps each time his finger tapped at it.

"Yeah, yeah. Kind. Well, from what I'm seeing. Sonic's by Shadow and Rouge's house." The kitsune shrugged and rolled his eyes. "He must be bothering Shadow to do a race or some other trivial things like that." Amy nodded and grasped the kitsune into an uncomfortable and bone-crushing hug.

"Thank you Tails! You're the best!" Amy praised. Tails smiled a cocky smile Sonic often faked a lot.

"Of course I am, I am the genius after all." Tails replied with overconfidence.

"Well I'm off to find my love now, bye-bye!" Amy said as she skipped out of the room and took her hammer and an umbrella with her against the rain. She suddenly didn't mind the rain now that she knew where Sonic is. Tails shook his head at Amy's air-headed obsession with Sonic and left the room and shutting off the lights before going back into his lab to work on his latest inventions.


	6. Tails

_The azure hedgehog woke bright and early as the sun rose into the blue sky and he was feeling great, there was just a pleasant feeling he felt today and it left him feeling very energetic and generally just in a good mood. Sonic decided to go take a relaxing hot shower._

_After showering Sonic stepped out of the shower with a towel and began drying himself and after a minute paused he paused after glancing in the mirror after seeing something catch his attention in his reflection. It was himself, of course he wasn't admiring himself no he was merely observing himself._

_There was something...just off and Sonic felt his good mood diminish. He couldn't tell what was off, what was bothering him, thinking because his quills were slightly mussed up he took his Quill-brush, (a certain type of brush made just for hedgehog quills that Sonic was fond of,) and began to brush his quills into his classic brushed down style. Setting the brush aside he stared into the mirror and his reflection stared back with the same emerald eyes._

_A frown settled on his lips, he began to search to see what was wrong with him. Yet there was nothing, just this sickening feeling that made him feel drained and exhausted. "What's going on? I'm still the same guy." Sonic wondered aloud, "I'm still everybody's hero." Shaking his head to where his quills bounced from side to side Sonic forced out a weak laugh. "Come on, I'm just being silly. There's nothing wrong." Saying that left a bitter taste in his mouth and a empty hollow gaping hole in him._

_Sonic attempted to shake off the feeling with a smile, his lips curled up into a forced smile that strained his face at first. Sonic jolted in his spot after the bathroom door was knocked on with quick sharp raps. "C-chaos." Sonic muttered and placed a hand over his chest. Moving over to the door he opened it to see Tails standing impatiently by the door. "What's up?" Sonic asked._

_"You were taking a long time and you aren't the only one in this house you know." Tails said disdainfully. Sonic blinked._

_"Jeez I'm sorry little buddy. I just got distracted, that's all." Sonic apologized. Tails rolled his eyes._

_"Yeah whatever. You're always getting distracted by stupid things. You're a hero, you're supposed to always be alert and never let your guard down." Sonic clicked his tongued and raised a brow. Lately Tails had been criticizing Sonic about everything or being very snarky and snide, and Sonic was starting to get sick of it. So Sonic decided he had enough of it and he was going to use his authority as big brother._

_"Look little brother." Sonic began, "I don't know what's going on with you but you can't just keep acting disrespectful like this." Tails looked at Sonic dismissively and scoffed._

_"I'm not being disrespectful, I'm only stating the facts. You can't keep slacking off like this, being a hero is a huge responsibility and honestly those people look up to you." Sonic blinked and tried to keep calm._

_"You're making it sound as if I absolutely_ have _to change myself just to please everyone." The hedgehog blinked when Tails nodded his head vigorously._

_"Duh! There are so many things you need to change about yourself to be a perfect hero for people. And if you keep doing dumb things like getting distracted your status as a hero will fall." It concerned Sonic by how much Tails looked afraid of the thought of 'status' and it confused him greatly._

_"We don't have to care about status's or whatever those are. And beside this hero nonsense I'm being serious here. There is no need to be sulky and I don't like that attitude you've been having recently." Sonic expressed. "Hey! I'm talking here." Sonic said as Tails turned around and left in a huff, he ignored Sonic and left him alone. Frustrated Sonic cursed and was about to storm after Tails when a thought struck his mind._

_'He does make a point. Being a hero has it's ups and downs and who knows, changing myself won't hurt me.'_


	7. Knuckles

High above the Mystic Ruins is an island in the sky inhabited by few woodland creatures and one echidna. Knuckles the echidna to be exact, the last of the echidna race, the guardian of the master emerald, and loyal friend to Sonic the hedgehog.

However, as much as Sonic had wished to have his friend around, Knuckles had his responsibilities to watch over the master emerald and protect it from those who wished to do harmful plots and schemes with it. Like many of Sonic's first meetings with people he may call friends, it didn't go well. At all.

Knuckles had been visited by Eggman and tricked into believing that Sonic had come to capture the emerald for himself, and needless to say their standoff together wasn't friendly. Yet Sonic was soon revealed to be the hero and everything was simply a mix up due to Eggman's lies and Knuckles gullibility.

The echidna felt guilty, terribly so, that he had been deceived into thinking Sonic was the villain but Sonic forgave him for that. In the beginning Knuckles was unsure that Sonic was...happy. It was hard to tell, because he didn't know the hedgehog very well and eventually his suspicions disappeared when Sonic's bad mood just seemed to disappear. He had been glad Sonic got better and was over what was bothering him, so he didn't worry too much for his blue hedgehog friend.

While Knuckles was away with his duties not knowing the state in which his friends have been recently. He didn't know just how much had changed since he had been gone. Though he will quite soon as he makes his way through the thick rain-forests to spend some quality time with his friends.

. . .

Amy skipped merrily along through meadows splashing in puddles and twirling her umbrella in her hands to prevent herself from getting any more soaked from the rain while on her way to Shadow and Rouge's home to find her Sonic for two things. One to get severally angry with him and punish him for skipping out on their date, and two for writing the lovely letter for her. She hummed a tune to herself and she felt curiosity pull at her making her eyes drop down to look at the notebook held in her hands.

"Oh I wonder what he said about me, does he finally admit his undying love for me? What if he compliments my beauty and my grace just like he should!" Amy giggled and her fingers jestingly opened the notebook while shutting her eyes. "I don't want to spoil it.  _But_ ~ I could just read a line or two." Her eyes opened and she simpered to herself. Her confusion showed with the first page that she began to read, where was the love letter for her?

Amy reread the notebook's entries, her skipping skidded to a slow walk and then she paused in her steps. The pink hedgehog stared with disbelief. Her eyes darted from line to line and she grew furious with each word full of lies.

Amy couldn't believe it...her Sonic...is a coward. What kind of idiotic fool wouldn't want to be a hero? It is every mans dream to be one! He's a freak! A weak pathetic coward who dares to lie about their true love!?

She dropped the umbrella she borrowed, it clattered onto the sidewalk below her and the rain poured over her. Her grip on her hammer tightened and she snapped the notebook shut with her other hand and clutched it not so gently with her nails embedding themselves into the book.

It was one thing to miss their date, but this was something Amy cannot simply just forgive and forget. What did Sonic want to speak with Shadow about that he couldn't share with Amy? They were rivals, both striving to be the better and faster hedgehog. So there was no way Sonic would willingly want to go talk to Shadow and same with Shadow wanting to talk with him.

And the fact that Sonic thought he didn't want to be a hero made her blood boil. Sonic is supposed to be the hero, it's who he is and those stupid expectations or whatever he called them very much annoyed her.

He was only being whiny and looking for more attention like he always does, whatever Sonic may think the actual reality, or in Amy's eyes at least, is that Sonic enjoyed any attention he got and this was just some new way to get it.

A tugging suspicion made her think, what if...he really felt this way?

"Ridiculous!" Amy spat out. He is a hero,  _her_  hero, he is  _her_  boyfriend and soulmate. So what if Sonic feels a little sad that he can't have as much freedom as he wants or whatever he really wants, it's his duty to do whatever it takes to be a hero to regular mobians. Set on her way to find Sonic, Amy was preparing herself to be expected to be proposed to. After all, that is the only way she'll ever forgive him for being a mean boyfriend and getting married forever would most definitely strengthen their love. Because in the end true love prevails.

Mentally she shook her head, it was laughable and absurd for Sonic to think like this. She didn't care about that and neither should he.

Oh. She didn't care.

She was going to punish him.

He will be punished.

And he will learn his lesson.

He will learn to love her back.

Because he is hers.

No matter what he thinks. What he wants. None of that matters to her because Amy loves him. She loves him so much she is willing to hurt him to make him see they belong together. That what he is thinking and writing down, it's all wrong.

She is the only thing he needs.

He doesn't need "Shads." No, he only needs her.

Amy resumed her walking, there was no merry skipping or soft humming. The sky only darkened and more bitter freezing rain poured down over her. A grim expression rested on her face, trickles of black mascara ran down her blue stony eyes. Lightning flashed across the skies with roars of thunder drowning out her yell of rage and cold determination.

"You  ** _will_** love me Sonic the hedgehog! I'll do whatever it takes to show you!"

. . .

"Sonic? Tails?" Knuckles called out, the pair's home seemed to be void of anybody, he stepped into the kitchen and wiped his slightly muddy shoes off onto the floor mat and kicked them off. The echidna took off his rain jacket and turned, hanging it up on the coat rack. The warmth of the house was very comforting and pleasant after his long journey to come visit.

Knuckles placed his house key that Sonic had given to him, Sonic had entrusted Knuckles to come and go as he pleased when he came over to stay. However Knuckles didn't even need to use the key as the door had been unlocked so he assumed someone would be home.

The echidna knew he had his own guest room upstairs, and he had been weary and tired but he couldn't wait to see his friends for the first time in a while. "Is anybody home?" Knuckles asked aloud. There was silence and Knuckles decided to check out the bedrooms to find out if that's where they were.

In no hurry at all, Knuckles walked through the halls and peeked into Tails bedroom first. The kitsune's bedroom had been dark and empty and he ambled into Sonic's room. With a quick flick of the light switch Knuckles had been surprised to see a large hole in his floor as if something heavy punched it down, there were chips and pieces of broken wood every all around the hole and he tentatively stepped forward.

Sonic's room looked to be untouched all day aside from the broken floor, though he did wonder. Why was it broken? And where on earth is Sonic at? Normally Sonic would stay inside on rainy days like this and moped around the house.

He left the room, shutting the lights off as he closed the door shut and turned around to head into Tails bedroom. He had the same results as before, except there was no gaping hole in the floor this time.

Had they gone out to another friends house? Were they on errands? Another mission? Saving the world?

"Knuckles? What are you doing here?" The young kitsune asked, jolting in his place Knuckles spun around to see Tails with goggles resting on his forehead. The younger male had been covered in black dust staining his sunshine yellow fur charcoal black.

"Hey buddy, long time no see huh." Knuckles cracked a smile. "I'm here to see you guys, I didn't mean to take this long but I had to keep watch of the emerald, especially now that Eggman has been on the low lately." The echidna reached out to give a small hug to Tails who instantly backed away from the hug while rolling his eyes.

"I don't want any hugs, chaos you and Sonic are the same. I'm not a little kid anymore, so don't go treating me like one." Tails brusquely said. Knuckles raised his hands in defense, a little hurt that Tails brushed him off like that. But then again, Tails was right in him not being so little or a kid anymore. Being fifteen and only and inch or two shorter than Knuckles now had really put him being older into perspective.

"Okay no hugs for the teenager. So where is Sonic at? And why is there a hole in the floor in his bedroom?" Knuckles asked, Tails sighed and looked impatient.

"He's over at Shadow and Rouge's place. And Amy's the one who broke the floor, she thought he was hiding so she swung that stupid hammer of hers trying to scare him out." Tails shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant fashion, not noticing Knuckles concerned expression. "She asked where he was at so I sent her his location not that long ago." He took a quick glance down to his communicator watch on his wrist. "I have to get back to my lab, I have to finish up some projects for the auction this weekend." He turned to leave when Knuckles stopped him in his tracks by placing a hand on Tails' shoulder.

"Wait- Didn't we have a talk with Amy about boundaries the last time I was here." Knuckles questioned, his brows furrowing in confusion. "It's like you don't even care about her obsession with Sonic."

"Because I don't. It's not that much of a big deal, I think it's good for Sonic." Tails lightly shoved Knuckles hand off his shoulder and.

"Good for him? What's gotten into you? Her obsession is in no way healthy for either of them." Knuckles said incredulously.

"That's where you're wrong. Amy is a perfect match for him, she grounds him from doing reckless things and she agrees with me that Sonic needs to learn how to be a better hero and do what is expected of him. He has his status as a hero to maintain and if he's out there being careless than how can he hope to keep his status?"

"Holy chaos Tails, everything you said there is completely off." He rubbed his temples and took a deep breath. "Look, I'm not going to sit here and argue with you about this. I'm going after Sonic before the pink brat gets there to hurt him. And you need to learn to be more sympathetic and caring for those around you. Imagine what Sonic has to go through day in and day out with you and Amy acting like this? I can't believe you would even say this."

"Tch. Whatever. You'll see, I'm right when I say Sonic needs to change and Amy is the solution."

"..." Knuckles couldn't believe the audacity and smugness Tails radiated with his statement. The echidna merely left without correcting Tails and was out the house in under a minute with his shoes and raincoat on and hoping to reach Sonic before Amy does.


	8. Chapter 8

"Yes...I-" It became hard for me to breathe, oh why can't I just say it? "I'll let you help me. Shads..." I feel so safe being wrapped up in his arms, like everything was going to be okay in the end. He held me closer and then it occurred to me, this is Shadow. Shadow is the one holding me, he is the one comforting me, he cares, he wants to help me. I wish, with all my heart that my friends will change back to their old selves and be as sympathetic and caring as Shadow is. We were all so happy. I was so happy.

I miss the way we all were, I miss being happy, it feels like it's been so long since I really felt anything else besides...well...empty and depressed. Depressed? Is that too strong of a word? Or too little?

Tails, my little brother. With the way he's changed we can't even connect or truly talk to each other anymore and I hate that. I hate it so much, I just wish I can have my brother back. When it was just us...chaos we were the only family we had. We clung to each other because neither of us had a real family and when I adopted him I swore I would always be there for him because he's my kid brother. Too bad he didn't swear the same to me.

Maybe I deserve it? In the beginning when I first started doing my heroic things I didn't know what to do, it was so new and so different. People began to view me differently and treat me differently as well. What else was I supposed to do besides bow down to their whims? I didn't know I would have to change, that I couldn't be me because as a hero I have to sacrifice everything for everyone at the expense of being human and being alive.

But I had Tails with me, he gave me suggestions of what to do in battle or in public, he supported me, and the encouragement he gave made me feel ecstatic and on top of the world. Never once did he order me, never once did he belittle me because I didn't understand half the inventive and intelligent things he said and did. In fact he helped me understand and taught me the basic skills a novice would have. I can still see him before he changed. His bright blue eyes swimming with knowledge and his mind drinking up every bit of information he was given, his sweet smile and how innocent and kind he was before. He was so little

Is it my fault? Did my mask, my fake persona rub off on him and he slowly turned into what I hated most about me? Chaos what if I raised him wrong? I tried everything for him. I can still remember, it was so long ago... We had no money at first, I barely got legal custody of him due to my age and me being a known trouble maker as a kid. I saved up as much as I could and spent it all on him, there were days where I starved and gave everything to him, of course I never told him. I could never make him feel guilty, it wasn't his fault and he was so innocent. Of course I managed to mess that up, how can they expect so much of me but not expect me to be unhappy with being a hero?

"Good. No more of this, 'I'm fine' or 'Nothing's wrong' talk. I'm here to help you as a friend." Shadow's words brought me out of my thoughts of Tails, "I swear I'll always be here for you, so don't worry or think otherwise hedgehog."

"Thank you Shadow." A tear rolled down my face, I wiped it away while laughing shakily. "I''m sorry. I'm stupid to be crying."

"You aren't stupid, it's bad to bottle up your feelings like this. It's okay to cry and let everything out." This broke what little walls I had left that Shadow couldn't see through and I cried. I wept quietly into his shoulder and he brushed his hands through my quills and down my back soothingly. Sobs escaped my lips as I truly let go of my mask for once.

No longer do I feel so alone and distant, I know now that I have one person I can trust after a long time of faking. Shadow, he's so real. I've always admired and respected that about him. To others he is cold and impatient when he's the opposite. I fear that everybody else wouldn't understand, it's the fear I still have of my expectations that haunt me like this. People dubbed us rivals, and that's what we turned into.

I can see now, I was loosing my life and my control over it because I wanted to please everyone and I forgot myself. Though I may have found out a portion of the problem, it's not like I could just fix it like that and everything will suddenly change and get better. thank chaos for Shadow being here for me like a true friend. Unlike everybody else he saw something was wrong and chose to find out what it was and comforted me, I will always be grateful and I will forever cherish this moment of intimacy with Shads.

. . .

Heavy (I think it's a little heavy) violence and swearing coming up. Also blood is involved.

. . .

The rain poured down heavily with loud claps of thunder coming after electrifying lightning, Rouge had stepped into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee and read up on her latest magazine on the richest jewelry around the globe. She took a glance outside and nearly shivered at the thought of how cold it must be, she only walked into the living room which was lit up with candles with small flames and she took one look at the two hedgehog's she cared deeply about.

Rouge felt her chest swell with delight at the sweet scene playing out in front of her. Shadow had dozed off next to Sonic who was curled up next to him and wrapped up in blankets, the two held each other and every few minutes one would nuzzle the other one and it was such a soft scene Rouge fluttered away to put her coffee down and go search her room for a camera to capture this endearing moment.

However the ivory bat never heard the knocking on the front door despite having high quality hearing, the noises of the knocks were drowned out by the loud thunderstorm. Another set of knocks were heard again and Rouge had yet to hear.

The doorknob jerked and twisted and the unlocked door had been pushed open with a jarring creak and closed lightly as a rain-drenched figure walked in taking slow heavy steps, the cold wind blew out the candles and doused the room in darkness. Bright flashes of lightning lit up the living room and cast an illuminated shadow for a moment standing over Sonic and Shadow.

With her piko piko hammer in hand Amy's green eyes stared down at the sleeping hedgehogs before her. They were so vulnerable and Amy could do just whatever she wanted to do to them. Her eyes glinted coldly as she looked at Shadow and Amy crooned mockingly to Sonic after moving closer to the blue blur.

"Sonic~ Wake up, my love." Amy placed a hand on his shoulder and lightly shook him awake.

"Shads...?" Sonic mumbled as he began to stir awake, he sat up and was met to a terrifying sight he will never forget. Green eyes wide with false joy and a psychotic smile to match stared at Sonic. Black tear stains ran down the face with hair messed up and dripping water droplets on the blanket. Sonic's breath caught in his throat and he froze in terror, he felt paralyzed

"Don't scream and don't move or I'll hurt 'Shads' here. Got that?" Amy demanded quietly, she had her hammer raised above Shadow's head and smiled wider when Sonic gave a sharp jerky nod, he pulled the blankets closer to him and he squeezed Shadow's hand hoping that the ebony hedgehog would wake up, not believing that this was real. That this was just some horrifying nightmare.

"Good. So did you miss me love? I found something of yours that I didn't like. A notebook of yours that I couldn't help but read." The color drained from Sonic's face and Amy had a triumphant smirk, she continued with her voice low. "I love you Sonic. I will do anything for you, even punish you when you lie to me and hide things from me. As my boyfriend I think it's my right to do this? Don't you think?" Sonic didn't answer and Amy growled. "Answer me." She raised her hammer threateningly. Sonic was shaking with fear and he nodded his head instantly.

"Yes. Yes. For the love of chaos don't Amy. Leave him out of this." Amy smiled with a fake sweet smile that made Sonic feel even more sickened than he already felt.

"I'm so glad we agree. Now..." Amy paused, "Get up. We're going to your house, you don't need Shadow. I'm everything you need, not this stupid freak." He did just so, it was hard trying to pry Shadow off of him without waking him but there was no way he was letting Shadow get hurt. The moment Shadow let got Sonic felt fear wash over him when Amy swung her hammer back and let it collide against Sonic's side with a sickening crunch. Once, Sonic dropped to his knees and held up his hands defensively, the pain he felt was torturing and he couldn't breathe let alone move in time to defend himself against the second hit, or the third.

Amy moved her arms back for another hit when a scream interrupted her and she was suddenly doubled over in pain from the swift kicks from Rouge to the stomach. The G.U.N. agent returned to see Sonic curled up on the ground looking frightened and in a world of pain. Rouge felt her rage snap and she went all out on Amy.

Shadow's eyes snapped open and he was awake and alert in a moment just in time to see Rouge do a spinning heel kick to Amy's back and she dug her claws into Amy while screaming profanities at the pink hedgehog. Shadow in an instant was by Sonic's side who began to cough up blood and Sonic was struggling to breathe, he was gasping for air yet never getting enough.

"YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Rouge yelled, Amy cried out when Rouge yanked at her hair. "HOW DARE YOU HURT HIM?! HE DIDN'T DESERVE THAT YOU UGLY HAG!" Amy lied on the ground crying and Rouge let up for a second. That turned out to be a mistake when Amy used that to her advantage and jabbed out her hammer narrowly missing Rouge who dodged it without a second to spare.

"HE IS MINE! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT WITH HIM!" Amy screamed, she attempted to swing her hammer at Rouge but the ivory bat is skilled when it comes to combat and is one of the best G.U.N. agents around next to Shadow. Rouge had had enough of Amy, it was time to put this little girl back in her place and teach her a good well deserved lesson.

"HE IS A PERSON. YOU DON'T CONTROL OR OWN HIM, HE HAS HIS OWN FREE WILL!" Rouge punched Amy several times in a row to the face and chest. Amy was down in seconds and had her hammer ripped away from her hands. Her ears were ringing and her world was dizzy and Amy watched in a heavy daze when Rouge cracked her hammer into pieces and threw them across the room where they clattered loudly.

Rouge panted and brushed the loose bangs that got in front of her eyes back and she glared venomously at Amy crumpled up on the floor. "Don't you even dare think that this is over with. If you even move from your spot I won't hesitate to kill you." Rouge swooped in next to Shadow who was telling Sonic to breath. Shadow's hands were shaking and worry was consuming him.

"Stay with me Sonic, we're going to get you help." Shadow said quickly, "I already called for an ambulance and they'll be in a few minutes. Please just stay with me."

"Shads...'m tired....it hurts...." Sonic choked out, he coughed again and shuddered in pain. Blood dripped down the side of his head and Sonic felt his world blackening around the edges. "...Shads..."


	9. Chapter 9

Knuckles was beginning to have a bad feeling settle in his chest. It was heavy, ominous and foreboding. He didn't know what was happening right now, but he didn't like it. The thunderstorm had been at it's highest peak in strength and power with wind whipping at his face and pushing him backwards, and the echidna had a hard time being able to see through the thick downpour of rain. Though he had to make sure that Amy hadn't done anything yet, her obsession with Sonic had been getting worse until he put a stop to it.

Knuckles remembered sitting her down and talking to her seriously, she apologized and said she would tone it down at least. Though Knuckles knew that wasn't good enough, and he forbid her from doing anything with Sonic if it was just her and him alone. He didn't trust her as much around his blue hedgehog friend, she was too much of a fangirl than a friend to him.

The red echidna cursed loudly, had he been gone far too long? Tails had grown up into some stupid all-knowing teenager who thinks he knows best, and he didn't know Amy or Sonic's situation other than Amy had been snooping through Sonic's things with her idiotically big hammer. Though he did wonder, what was he doing at Shadow's and Rouge's home? The echidna had never been that close to Shadow, but Rouge on the other hand...he did feel affectionate for her in a lack for words. Sonic was the one who had all the friends, so when Knuckles went back to his duties on Angel Island he didn't worry too much for Sonic being lonely without him there.

The house had finally came into view and he sprinted towards it, only to trip and fall on something that got caught up in his legs. With a yelp he crashed to the ground into a puddle. Another curse escaped his lips and he stood up and glanced down to see the object that tripped him. An open umbrella he recognized to be Tails' from their home.

"What the hell?" He walked around the umbrella and continued to run to the house belonging to the two G.U.N. agents. His heart dropped when he heard screams of anguish coming from the home. The closer he got, the louder the screams got. As he reached the door the screaming stopped and there was an eerie silence. With no hesitation he opened the door... He immediately gasped and tackled the looming figure standing with a sharp object in their hand ready to slash down.

. . .

"Shadow. Shadow! Listen to me!" Rouge demanded, she was on her knees holding Shadow's hand in her own and she kept trying to make him look at her and not at Sonic who he cradled in his arms. Shadow was trembling and his cool calm composure had disappeared, Shadow was panicking and distressed and he could only stare in pure shock at Sonic who stared away with half-lidded emerald eyes. And the sounds of Amy sobbing in the background didn't help the situation at all.

"Look at me Shadow!" Rouge attempted to snap him back but he was too lost. "We can help him! You can help him, remember the chaos emeralds? Shadow, you can heal him. Please listen and breathe!" Rouge turned and glared at Amy who wailed on the ground even louder and snarled at her. "Shut up! Look what your ignorance and stupidity has done!"

The storm outside had gotten worse and darker and the candle lights had been blown out which left them all shrouded in darkness except for the lightning flashing and illuminating them just for a moment.

"...ia-" Shadow uttered quietly. "Couldn't save..." His ruby red eyes stared down at Sonic who had blood dribbling down his lips and onto his chin. Sonic suddenly shifted into Maria as she slowly lost her life. Her ocean blue eyes looked up at him and she wore a sad smile.

"...S-Shadow..." Her delicate voice whispered, hearing and seeing her in her last painful moments shook Shadow to his core. He should've done something, he could've done something and she would still be here alive instead of a ghost of her image haunting him.

"Listen to me. Shadow." Rouge said softly, "There was nothing you could do to help Maria." Hearing Maria's name got his attention and he turned to look at Rouge, and then look back to Maria only to see Sonic in her place once again. "But you can help Sonic. Please calm down and listen, Sonic isn't going to make it to the hospital. You couldn't help her, but you can help him." Rouge let go of his hand and stepped back to give the two hedgehogs room.

"Damn..." Shadow muttered and exhaled sharply, "Damn it..." He felt angry at himself for losing it at the worse moment but pushed everything away for later. Sonic was his first and only priority. Finally snapping out of it Shadow pulled out the green chaos emerald he always had in his possession.

He shut his eyes in concentration and held Sonic and the emerald pulsed brightly in the palm of his right hand and the emerald lit up the room with bright green, while with his left hand he held down lightly onto Sonic's rib cage. Slowly the ebony hedgehog used the chaos emerald to heal Sonic's broken and fractured ribs. The energy from the emerald went into Sonic who became completely healed in mere minutes. Shadow dropped the emerald onto the ground when Sonic opened his eyes fully and focused on him.

"...Thank you Shads..." Sonic whispered and shut his eyes, "Chaos that hurt." Sonic hesitantly pushed himself up and glanced to Amy fearfully. She continued to sob loudly as if she was being tortured. Rouge glared harshly down at the crying pink once she managed to turn the lights on.

"Your injuries have been taken care of." Shadow spoke softly. "Does it still hurt?"

"No...no nothing hurts anymore." Sonic laughed shakily. His heart was racing, and he only felt fear because of Amy. Rouge quickly picked up on this. "Thank you Shadow, and thank you Rouge...for defending me from her...you're the first people to defend me from her...normally everyone thinks she's kidding so they let her get away with this..." Sonic was scooped up into a gentle hug from Rouge and she cradled him in her arms. The tense panic in the air dissolved now that Sonic was okay physically. Mentally and emotionally though, that was a different story. Then Shadow joined in the hug, normally Rouge would tease Shadow about his affectionate side, but this wasn't the right time for this. Sonic was squished between their hugs but his beating heart slowed down and he no longer felt afraid or panicked anymore. Though he did notice that Shadow looked exhausted and drained of energy...did he use his own energy just to heal Sonic? Before Sonic could ask Shadow, Rouge spoke up.

"Chaos it's like everyone has lost their minds. Blue, I don't really know what you're going through but I swear you aren't going through it alone. Not anymore okay?" Sonic gave a smile that faded when he stared at Amy who stopped screaming and crying. She simply stopped and laid on the floor with the pieces of her broken hammer lying next to her like a child after having a temper tantrum. She changed...so had he...everybody did... "What do you want us to do with her."

"Thank you Rouge...with everyone changing like this I just grew used to it. For Amy... What will you do to her if I say I don't care?" Sonic asked quietly.

"G.U.N. will step in and deal with her. They'll see to it that she never ever comes around here or around you ever again. Though, this will be after I'm through with her." Rouge answered.

The blue hedgehog looked back at Amy and began comparing her now from her old self, she had once been an innocent girl he had saved from Metal Sonic's clutches. Yes she was infatuated with him from the beginning and chased after him hopelessly in 'love'. Though that was all she had done, she had grown bolder and changed. She became inconsiderate of Sonic and his feelings towards her and pushed herself onto him over and over and over. Now she had down it. Amy went too far and frankly, Sonic could care less as to what happens to her after this. She was one of the people who expected so much from him, manipulating and hurting him because she was his self-proclaimed girlfriend that everyone seemed to be okay with. It was a casual thing for Sonic to flee at top speeds because he didn't want her bothering him and people waving it off and laughing about it, often claiming it was just a normal thing to see.

"I don't care what happens to her. I want nothing to do with her anymore." Sonic ignored Amy's loud gasp as he replied to Rouge. He didn't want to know all the details, and Rouge and Shadow had nearly enough control of G.U.N. as their commander did. So he knew that he was finally free of Amy once she was taken in.

The door swung open and Sonic, Shadow, and Rouge instantly found his attention on the newcomer, it was Knuckles who came in drenched and looking frantic. The echidna took a quick look at them and his purple eyes widened and he let out a cry of "Look out!" and dove forwards above them. Time moved by too quickly and Sonic could only catch Knuckles tackling Amy... He pinned her arms down and something clattered from her hands. Sonic's emerald eyes could only stare at the broken handle from her hammer be held like a stake in horror. Amy struggled and squirmed to get out of Knuckles hold while hissing. Though due to receiving an ass-kicking from Rouge greatly weakened the crazy girl, she couldn't do much besides yell violently again.

"If he doesn't want me! I'll make him want me! Sonic is my boyfriend, he doesn't need any of you. He only needs me!" Amy yelled and kicked at Knuckles abdomen. He growled and winced but otherwise didn't ease up in keeping her down. Shadow appeared next to Knuckles holding a pair of handcuffs. Knuckles pushed Amy's arms together and held them up for the ebony hedgehog to cuff together. Amy screeched and kicked Knuckles backwards and scooted backwards, she attempted to stand up only to fall onto her knees and kept making piercing cries and words that made no sense. Sonic kept his distance and watched silently, wondering what the fuck had just happened.

. . .

Shadow had fallen asleep from exhaustion on the couch with Sonic sitting at the end of the couch by his legs, Sonic's suspicions of him draining a part of his own energy to heal Sonic had been correct. Rouge and Knuckles dragged Amy down to G.U.N. headquarters after fighting off a couple EMT's who came thinking there was still an emergency, it took surprisingly a lot of time persuading the EMT's that everything was okay and so they left as did Knuckles and Rouge.

Knuckles knew Rouge was fairly capable going alone, but he wanted to speak to her alone, though he and Sonic chatted and Sonic told him it was fine and that they wouldn't be gone too long. Sonic just wanted to think and not talk, just to process how quickly things changed in a day. It was incredible and Sonic knew, he wasn't alone and maybe. Just maybe he could escape from the masses and their forceful expectations of him. He could escape their harsh, cold, and unrealistic assumptions of who he is and who he isn't.

Now it was only Sonic in the house, and the blue blur observed the sleeping hedgehog with fascination, awe, and a fond tenderness. Shadow looked so peaceful sleeping, very relaxed and the scowl he normally had on his face was gone and he looked more softer. 'He's cute like this.' Sonic thought to himself, the thought disappeared and Sonic was a little confused. Why did he think like that? He was brought out of his thoughts after he was literally lifted up and pulled down by a sleeping Shadow who snuggled close to Sonic in his sleep while mumbling words Sonic didn't understand with his arms wrapped around the younger hedgehog thin waist.

"Eh? Shads? I can't move..." Sonic muttered quietly before finding himself brought closer into Shadow's chest. There was a light deep and vibrating rumble coming from Shadow and it took Sonic to realize that the ebony hedgehog was purring. He flushed red at the idea of sleeping with Shadow who purred at being close with him. They were just friends, besides...he's broken...the public would never accept Sonic for who he was...this is why he kept Amy around. As dangerous as she was she kept the public off his back about having a girlfriend. Mentally he shook his head of his darker thoughts. He knew that if he continued to let them roam they would turn around and consume and leave him falling again and maybe not even Shadow could hold him back up like he was.

'Shadow' Being so close to him like this, in his arms made Sonic feel warm, Shadow made him feel safe from everybody, including himself. Sonic felt himself drifting away to sleep contently while thinking to himself. 'I really cherish him, I think maybe I...' He dozed off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

The tense silence between the two, well technically the three, was suffocating to say the least. Knuckles was having a hard time trying to think up what to say and ask the ivory bat Rouge. He opened his mouth to speak, "Rouge I-" though he was cut off the agent. Not that it mattered anyways, he didn't even know what he was going to say.

"You've been gone a little too long Knux." Rouge walked in front of Knuckles, in front of her was Amy who kept her head down in shame and anger as they walked in front of different animal agents and human workers of G.U.N. who stopped and gawked at her in the narrow hallways leading up to the G.U.N. commander's office. Knuckles gave an annoyed glance to a human who bumped into him and struggled to catch up to Rouge who walked a steady fast pace, her heels clicking loudly on the floor as she walked with a professional stance while scrutinizing Amy closely.

"I have my duties on Angel Island, and Eggman has been eyeing the Master Emerald way too much recently. I can't afford to slack off on my duties..." He said, he knew this was sort of a pointless thing to say yet he wasn't too surprised when she simply waved it off.

"Still...I'm worried about Blue. He hasn't been himself lately, me and Shadow noticed how differently he's been acting with everyone. He isn't the Sonic we know." Rouge's voice was low and Knuckles didn't have time to say a response as they reached the door Rouge all but pushed Amy aside and knocked on the door impatiently. The door swung open to reveal the commander himself after a few moments.

He was a tall older human, clearly in his fifties with dark grey hair. Knuckles felt a little unnerved by his different colored eyes, his left eye was green and his right brown. He was clothed in a dark grey uniform with different medals placed alone his shoulder and chest. He's the highest ranking commander, military leader, and boss of Shadow and Rouge. The commander had a serious, gruff stern look on his face as he stared down at them questioningly.

"Agent Rouge. Isn't this a surprise. One would think that you would enjoy your free time being away from work." The bat gave a curt nod while using her hand to motion towards Amy who was shaking in her place, she was obviously afraid of the tall human. Amy squeaked after Rouge used her fingers to push Amy forwards but she didn't do anything. The crazy fangirl no longer had the strength or energy to fight back anymore.

"Sorry commander. I'm here on business to bring in Amy Rose, I've deemed her a threat after she attacked both me, agent Shadow, and Sonic the hedgehog in our home." The man raised a brow and stared down coldly at the girl his agent brought in. He was normally much more warmer to his two favorite agents, however as this was a serious case it would be impractical of him to speak to Rouge so informally.

"Come into my office, I'll send for a lower ranking soldier to get the proper paperwork so we can discuss this..." Blue and brown eyes looked Amy over, "Threat."

"No!" Amy shouted, she spun to look at Rouge with a pleading expression on her face, the gem thief stared at her, disgusted by the hedgehog's behavior. "You can't do this! I didn't mean to hurt  _you_. I only wanted to punish and teach my Sonniku a lesson!"

"What the hell is the matter with you!?" Knuckles yelled, his well-known temper began to show as he ranted angrily. "You tried killing all three of them, the fact that you think Sonic is yours like he is an object is laughable and insane! Think about this, remember when Sonic wanted to save you from Metal Sonic's clutches? That was out of the goodness of his heart when he knew who you were before you were captured. He knew that you are another one of his controlling and whiny fangirls' who think they're entitled to boss him around and chase him like you have been for years but he still chose to save you because he is a damn pure hearted person who has to put up with your crazy bullshit! I've had it with you and Tails! I don't know why the hell you two think you can treat Sonic so carelessly when he's done so much for the two of you idiots!" His words physically struck the hedgehog like verbal punches. Amy flinched back but she was incredibly and stupidly stubborn.

"You're wrong! Sonic saved me because he loves me! He just doesn't know how to show it! And I hate the way he leans on stupid  _Shads_  like he needs him or something!" Amy cried out, "He only needs me!" Knuckles growled, moving forward to strangle the idiot until Rouge's hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Don't bother." She said calmly, the echidna gave her an appalled stunned expression, his attention fully on to the bat now.

"So what else am I supposed to do? Let the psychopath keep talking nonsense?" He said sourly, noticing Rouge's plump pink lips in thin lines with her face looking strained as if she was struggling to stay as coolly calm as she spoke.

"Yes." She emphasized greatly on the word. "G.U.N. will be taking care of her,  _right_  commander?" The two blinked in surprise after turning back to the leader who stared at them bemused, standing next to him was a timid lower-ranked soldier handing the commander papers, a dalmatian with white fur and black spots.

"We already are agent. Now I'll say this again. Let's step into my office and continue this in private." The human pushed the door open for Rouge who had to shove a reluctant Amy into the room and was followed by Knuckles. The man briefly glanced at the lower-ranked soldier before shutting the door, "You're dismissed agent." The door was shut and locked leaving the dog alone in the hallway confused. It wasn't everyday you get called in by the head leader thinking you're in trouble or getting in deep trouble only to find out that you need to bring him some documents. The dog shrugged his shoulders, took a big sigh of relief as he quickly fled the narrow hallway to get back to working. What the commander did wasn't his business.

. . .

Being reclusive, living in near total isolation from everyone is what Shadow's always known. It's what he's grown used to after the Ark...after Maria. Shadow was stubborn and he kept his distance from everybody. Socializing with the other teams was never his thing, it just wasn't for him. They didn't talk to him, he didn't talk to them. He preferred it this way as the only time when they bothered him was when it was an emergency or a meeting of all the teams for getting updates on Eggman and the chaos emeralds. However they stopped after the human scientist disappeared with no trace or sign of any diabolical plans.

Those who didn't know Shadow would say that he was intimidating with his constant scowls, frowns, or even blank emotionless expressions on his face and his demeanor stiff with his arms crossed across his chest made him look more unfriendly and unsociable. The ebony hedgehog with crimson red streaks flowing through his quills that stick up near the end, defying gravity could care less for what people think or say he looks like.

One would think, how such an uncaring being such as Shadow would have such a soft spot for Sonic. He was conflicted inside at first, the cobalt blue hero at first annoyed him to no ends. He was too much of a loudmouth, too cocky for his taste, Sonic acted brashly and never thought about the danger and deadly consequences that could come to him out in battle, it irked the G.U.N agent to no end with how carefree Sonic was. Sonic didn't take anything seriously, all he ever did was throw himself in danger while making jokes about it. Shadow couldn't fathom as to why Sonic behaved like this and Shadow did regret the belittling and cold comments and retorts he made to Sonic now.

He regretted how unwelcoming and cold he was to the sleeping hedgehog curled beside him in the past. Ruby red eyes flickered to Sonic, after resting for chaos knows how long on that couch, Shadow woke up to Sonic wrapped up in his arms. The two were pressed up close together with Sonic resting his head next to Shadow's white furred chest, their legs overlapping each other. A fun fact about hedgehogs Gerald Robotnik told Shadow once that he began to suddenly remember, was that when a hedgehog like him was in a relaxed state of being and mind their quills were as soft and silky almost like somewhat stiff hair. Shadow fondly remembered how Maria often stroked and played with his quills after hearing that, it was common for him to wake up to her giggling and running her fingers through his quills curiously. The ultimate lifeform lightly ran his gloved fingers along Sonic's quills, it was interesting how dangerously sharp their quills could get when at they were up and ready to defend or attack. Yet now they were Sharp pangs of pain, longing stabbed through his chest.

He missed her every day as there wasn't a day he hasn't thought of her, he missed his sister so much. And tonight with the incident with Amy had resurfaced memories of his own. Seeing Sonic nearly dead on the ground scared him. Fear isn't something he was used to, it was only a feeling he pushed away but this time he couldn't... He could only stare as he saw both Maria and Sonic and feeling like there was nothing he could do to help. He froze up being lost in his memories. Maria, with her heart full of love and no hate saved him at the cost of her own. It was eerily similar as to what happened to Sonic not so long ago yet different too...the blue hedgehog told him of how Amy nearly killed Sonic in her delusional jealous rage. Because of him. Maria lost her innocent life because of him, Sonic almost lost his. Shadow protectively held Sonic tighter, how they came so far from being rivals to close friends amazed him.

Though Shadow knew why, because underneath Sonic's fake mask and beneath that is someone full of nurturing kindness and love is hiding who reminds him deeply of his lost sister. Their eyes were alike, alive and vibrant. Only Sonic carried more pain. A pain that he needs help and support in getting through. Shadow promised he wouldn't leave Sonic and he was damn sure he wasn't going to. He'll be by Sonic's side just as the blue blur has been for him. After all the Faker would do the same for him, in fact he's already have.

The front door clicked open after being unlocked swiftly, Shadow didn't bother trying to look at Rouge or Knuckles when they stepped into the home. He merely closed his eyes and listened to Rouge's heels tapping on the floor to get close to them, he heard a tiny squeal and he knew Rouge had seen them. However the hedgehog did not expect to hear the click of a camera and the bright flash of one before he opened his eyes to see the bat holding a camera in her hands as she crooned quietly.

"You two. Have got to be the cutest things I've ever seen. Just look at both of you!" Rouge stated quietly, Knuckles gave Shadow an odd look but remained silent, internally Shadow knew that the emerald guardian would want to talk about Sonic very soon. Shadow noted the wary mistrust coming from Knuckles, the echidna never fully trusted Shadow before and he didn't expect him to now.

"You'll wake him up Rouge."

"Sorry, sorry. It's just you know how I get when you open yourself up some more. Plus, I have commander personally picking out the punishment for Amy himself. Though she'll never be able to set foot around any of us, or have any freedoms of her own."

"She's getting a mental evaluation is what she means to say." Knuckles said to Shadow, the ebony hedgehog nodded. "They want to be proper with her and pretty much check what's wrong and see if she needs help. But even so, there is no way she's not getting put away for a long time. Amy's obsession has been going on far too long." The guardian muttered darkly. Shadow agreed wholeheartedly. Knuckles gave Rouge a brief look and the thief seemed to catch the hint.

"I've got some paperwork commander left me I need to fill out." She said, a white envelope of classified papers tucked underneath an arm made itself known. "I'll let you two talk." She added, making her exit to her bedroom. Her door shutting was loud, silence followed until Knuckles broke it.

"I'm going to be blunt." The echidna started, crossing his arms across his chest whilst staring down the ultimate lifeform and the reluctant sleeping hero of Mobius. "Why do you care now for Sonic? I  _am_  grateful that you and Rouge were here for him when I wasn't...Before now you never wanted anything to do with him at all. Yet here you two are snuggling together as if the past never happened."

"..." Shadow had no words to say or explain his sudden change of heart that Knuckles would understand at first. "...Because I see who he really is when I didn't before. I see someone I knew in him." Knuckles sighed, seeing that Shadow wouldn't elaborate further on that.

"Sonic is a close friend of mine, I wasn't here for him when he got hurt but you were. For his sake and Rouge's sake I will trust you. I'm sure that this will be easier on everybody than us fighting. Rouge told me about how he came to you and left, then she explained how she 'asked' you to find him. Sonic...he told you what was wrong, gave you the gist of it I suppose...am I right?"

"Yes, he did."

"Then don't hurt him, I don't care how much you two care for each other in erm-  _that way_. Just know that I will kick your ass if you ever-" He was interrupted by Shadow very quickly.

"Just wait a damn minute, what do you mean by 'that way'?" Ruby red eyes looked at the guardian questioningly, daring Knuckles to repeat his words once again to see if he heard correctly. Shadow attempted to sit up but froze in his movement at the stirring hedgehog, his eyes were uncharacteristically wide staring at Sonic, showing how shaken he was. Knuckles looked uncomfortable now, not noticing Shadow's change in behavior nor Sonic's emerald eyes fluttering open.

"I'm not judging you two if that's what you mean, if you two wish to be together I won't stand in your way."

"Whatever you are thinking is going on between me and Faker isn't happening. Are you really implying that Faker and I are-"

"Knux? Shads?" Sonic muttered. Shadow moved his hands away from Sonic in a heartbeat, Sonic looked between the two with relief. His heart was racing and his mind was a million miles away at this point. Nightmares tormented his sleep. Vividly Sonic could still remember it.

_In his nightmare was Amy swinging her hammer not at him, but at Shadow. Rouge and Knuckles were lying deathly still behind her with their bodies sprawled out onto the ground that morphed into a falling pit that consumed him. He tried desperately to hold onto to something, to grab onto anything he could. His hands missed, letting him fall into a pool of endless freezing water. Sonic sputtered and shouted for help with tears building up in his eyes, gasping for air as he splashed in the water trying to swim when he couldn't. What scared him was the laughter, the mocking of his friends and those he considered friendly allies and rivals with their harsh cold laughter. There was the loud taunting scorn from the public, the fanatic civilians he saved time after time jeering at him. What kind of a hero was he if he couldn't swim? He's a coward, an idiot, and a liar. 'They're right...' Sonic thought, his vision had black around the edges and his lungs burned for air. He fell underneath the water and the icy cold water set in..._

Then he woke up. Hearing voices speaking, Knuckles' and Shadow's to be exact.

"Are you feeling better now, Faker?" Shadow queried to the younger hedgehog, "Nothing hurts?"

"Never better." Sonic smiled a fake smile, his mask in place.


	11. Chapter 11

Emerald eyes, void of emotions flickered towards an object far from his place on the couch. Ever so slightly did they widen with fear and recognition. His grey spiral notebook which had been forgotten and discarded across the floor from the chaos caused by Amy earlier. He needed to get to his notebook before the others noticed it.

Sonic threw his legs over the couch kicking off the blankets he was using. Standing up he proved it was too much for him at first when his head became a swimming dizzy mess and he stumbled over his feet, he would've fell down if it wasn't for Shadow coming to his rescue using his arms to support him.

"Thanks Shads, just got dizzy there. All is well." Another false smile lifted up the corners of his mouth as he looked towards Shadow, however he didn't look him in the eyes. He couldn't, he had caused enough problems here. Sonic raised enough hell and if he continued to stay here he would only burden the G.U.N. agents and his echidna friend more.

Guilt rose up inside of the blue hedgehog when Shadow stared at him blankly, like he knew he was lying through his teeth like he did before with his mask so Sonic pushed the feeling back as much as he could, Sonic gave a thumbs up and gently shrugged the ultimate lifeform's hand. Shadow looked as if he was going to call out Sonic until Knuckles beat him to it.

"Are you sure? You aren't feeling sick are you?" Knuckles queried, the guardian stepped closer to the two hedgehogs looking at Sonic concernedly, amethyst purple hues scanned Sonic. Sonic shook his head, "I'm fine Knux..." The blue blur suspected his friend wouldn't let this drop so he figured why not make him forget it.

"So how are you and Rouge? You two were gone an awful long time." Sonic questioned quietly, his voice turning sly and suggestive in the end. Knuckles turned visibly redder than his color, he was too embarrassed to notice Sonic changing the subject. But Shadow noticed, he observed silently watching Sonic with his ruby red trying to look through Sonic and see what was wrong.

"We went to G.U.N. Headquarters and we just talked afterwards, that's all we did so no thinking other things." The echidna rubbed the back of his neck, Sonic grinned and laughed jokingly, though his heart filled with sharp pangs of pain. He was glad Knuckles and Rouge were hitting it off, it made him happy but he felt sick. He shouldn't be here, if he never came Amy wouldn't have tried hurting them and she wouldn't have found his notebook.

Things would be the same still...but things weren't now. And he got the close friendship, the intimacy with Shadow and Rouge that he hadn't before. He wants the pressure to be the hero to go away, he wants to be free and be his own self but he's so scared...so afraid of what the future will bring as he reaches out for his friends. Which of his friends are his friends, who sees him as reliable ally only?

"On a more serious note...I want to head back to my house. Tails is probably worried about me." Sonic mused aloud, he missed the quick flicker of sadness in Shadow's face as he said this.

"If we're going to be talking about Tails then you might want to wait a while cause we have some things about Tails that's been really troubling." Knuckles interjected, "I hate to say this to you buddy, but with the way Tails has been acting I doubt he'll really be thinking not just about you but any of us. He seems to think he's all knowing." Knuckles said truthfully, his expression softened when Sonic's head drooped down. Letting his mask slip off just a little Sonic glumly sighed.

"I know Tails changed quite a lot... and not for the better, but what am I supposed to do? He's my little brother Knux..."

"Hey..." Knuckles said softly, he placed a hand comfortingly on Sonic's shoulder. "I've considered you and Tails close friends for a long time now, you two are like my own brothers. I hate being away because I can't be here to help you with things like this until it gets worse. But I'm here now, and we'll get to the bottom of this and things can only get better alright."

Sonic's emotions became twisted up like a twister, he trusted Knuckles completely but he...he couldn't tell him what else had been messed up lately. Like he didn't feel like it was the right time, if there even was a right time, to bring up what he really thinks about his expectations and how tired he really is like he mostly did with Shadow. Speaking of the ebony hedgehog, Shadow picked up on Sonic's behaviors or characteristics fairly fast enough to know just when Sonic was hiding something like earlier.

"Faker." Shadow said, both the echidna guardian and the blue speed demon brought their focus onto the G.U.N. agent, "Do you remember what you said you would do in the forest?"

"Of course I do Shads...how could I forget."

"Then say it again." Shadow urged whilst Sonic gave Shadow a wide eyed look. "Say it Faker."

"I said I would let you help me..." Sonic answered quietly, his eyes glanced down to the ground avoiding Shadow's gaze.

"Then let me help you, quit trying to use a mask. I can see right through it and I know you aren't feeling fine right now. So don't act like I'm an idiot who won't notice when something's wrong." Sonic bit his lip and crossed his arms over his chest giving Shadow a downcast expression.

"I- I don't think you're an idiot Shadow it's just...-" Sonic trailed off so Shadow continued, "You must think I'm one if you're pretending to be okay."

"How about this." Said Knuckles, "We start off with where everything started, and I mean everything. We take things slowly step by step." Sonic looked up then his attention was fixed onto his notebook and he had an idea.

"I know where I can start things...it's not a lot but it can give you a general idea I guess..." Sonic made his way to his notebook, picking it up, turning back around to barely meet the gazes of his friends as he gripped his notebook tightly in his hands.


	12. Chapter 12

His heart beat rapidly against his chest feeling like it was going over a thousand miles per hour as he gripped his spiral notebook in his hands, Sonic shifted in his spot wanting to meet both Shadow and Knuckles gaze yet he couldn't do it. The blue hedgehog felt foolish at the moment just as he did when he first tried to talk to Shadow. His blue pointed ears were instinctively pinned against his head as he almost stood trembling in his place.

 _'This is going to sound stupid to them...'_ A morose thought fleeted through his mind causing him to feel more like nervous wreck than before. Sonic stood away from his friends who instantly noticed his inner turmoil. He felt scared...for so long he had to wear his mask. He had to pretend or feign his confidence and happiness, he had to bow down to the worlds expectations with a fake smile on his lips. But now he had the chance to be free of this mask now... He was damn sure he was going to take that chance.

A surge of confidence filled up Sonic's lungs with a warm feeling, he trusts Shadow just as he trusts Knuckles. They are his friends who want to listen to what's wrong, they do care.  _'It's okay...I can do this.'_ Shadow gave Sonic a look of reassurance that also helped him gain more of the real confidence he often feigned.

"I know I've been avoiding talking about what was wrong...you saw through my mask and called me out on it...thank you." Sonic flashed a tiny grateful smile towards his friends, but the smile was gone as quick as it was there while Sonic continued to speak. "This might not make sense, there's a chance I'm being stupid about this...it happened really a few years ago. It was just a thought that festered into this looming presence that wouldn't leave. So I began to write things out into my notebook about me." He started whilst tapping said notebook with his index finger, "I never wanted this life you guys, I'm sick of living in the expectations and demands from the people of Mobius, I started to notice how  _toxic_ and  _forceful_ people were about me. I wasn't a person to them, I was just like a toy they could use and break thinking I would be okay with it."

Sonic's voice grew hard and heavy like lead towards the end, his emerald eyes were tainted with an exhaustion leaving circles under his eyes that left him looking haunted. It felt...so freeing to speak about this...even if it's just a small summary of the beginning to really opening up about his problems it was enough appease the uncertainty he had been feeling more. "They didn't care how far they pushed me. It took some time for me to realize that those I considered friends weren't real friends at all, I was just an ally to them to use whenever times were difficult. I didn't see anybody as a real friend after a while...my trust in people has been messed up and I kept everything bottled up..." Cobalt blue quills bristled as they began to sit up to signify that he was truly more than a little upset. Shadow could feel the crackling chaos energy within Sonic flow like a slithering snake poised and ready to strike, this wasn't good. Knuckles could sense the energy radiating from Sonic and moved to approach Sonic but Shadow raised his hand to stop the echidna, shaking his head so Knuckles backed off while eyeing Sonic cautiously. With a glance from the corner of ruby red eyes the former rival could see Rouge appear with her arm linking with Knuckles while they watched the two hedgehogs silently.

The ultimate lifeform felt momentarily stunned to say the least, feeling like he had no words to say in response to Sonic's revelations or to calm down the speed machine before he winds up accidentally hurting one of them or himself, he didn't know if there were even words to say to comfort the cobalt hedgehog when it hit him... He  _does_  know what to say, he's said these words to his friend before. Momentarily berating himself, Shadow took Sonic's peach colored hand gently in his own. The younger hedgehog took a deep shaky breath at the physical contact but didn't pull away.

"Faker. I am real. I care. I am here. Everything I've told you is true." Slowly Shadow pulled Sonic to bring him closer and Sonic didn't object, simply letting Shadow pull him into a hug while running a hand through Sonic's quills to let them go down. Sonic began to feel anger pulsing through him, wanting to rage out at everybody who hurt him. To make everybody hurt as much as he did but he didn't feel right thinking like that. A frown appeared on his muzzle, the mixture of emotions were almost anguishing for him, he wanted to be mad and push Shadow away...why did he care so much when he never did in the beginning?

People he came to love and call his own family batted their eyes when he first asked for some kind of help, they scoffed at him, belittled him, he was harassed by not only his family but complete strangers to change into the perfect hero in their eyes. He wasn't supposed to be helped. He was their hero, he needed to save him and not the other way around.

Nobody saved him. That's just the way it was.  _Was_.

Then why was Shadow here? He never cared before...so why is he here? Why is Knuckles here? How come Rouge cared?

Where was everybody else?

Why...why did Amy begin to get warped the more she she listened to the world instead of the other way around. How did Tails begin to grow up into such a an over-confident jerk with an ego bigger than the Master Emerald?

Why did Sonic feel like this? Why does this bother him so much? Why couldn't he just be grateful for what he has instead of crying pathetically into his former rivals' arms like a child.

"Because this isn't okay to bottle things like this up. Look Faker. I'm sorry I didn't see through that mask before, if I had I could've helped you then. I regret being one of the people to belittle you in the past. I only saw who you were pretending to be. I want to help you be the real you." Shadow said softly into Sonic's ear, Sonic didn't even realize he was whispering all of these questions aloud until Shadow spoke to him. The ebony creation could hear the hushed sniffles that turned into sobs wracking through Sonic's body as he cried quietly. Fat tears rolling down his cheeks while he gasped for air to breathe. Shadow only held Sonic closer, letting the younger one full of anguish cry out his pain.

The notebook that held him together dropped almost noiselessly to the floor, the papers crinkled lightly almost tearing at the not so gentle landing. A brief glance could show you the endless amount of writing covering every page, words that told Sonic's point of view of the heartache he felt at the hands of those he loved. The grief he kept inside as he wore a mask plastered to his face hiding his true shining self.


	13. Chapter 13

_Sparkling blue eyes that matched crystal oceans flickered to look at the taller, older figure standing before him with his back towards him. Royal cobalt blue quills brushed down moved gently, swaying back and forth from the wind as he stood still, arms drawn up into a fighting stance with a foot stepped behind him and a cocky grin on his lips that he knew was there. It always was. He hated it._

_The owner of the blue eyes, a sunshine yellow fox with two tails stared worryingly at his brother who stood in front of him carefully and cautiously ready to strike out an attack at the enemies surrounding them. His brother took a brief glance behind him, his emerald hues meeting blue whilst flashing a quick smile to the fox. "I've got this under control! Just stay back so ya don't get hurt 'kay?"_

_"But- I-" The child didn't get to finish as his brother ran forward and instantly spin dashing in the air, cutting through the metal badniks belonging to their enemy Eggman with his sharp long quills. Though said enemy wasn't here with them, these were only robots patrolling Green Hill that happened to find them walking through the grassy plains enjoying the crisp fresh air and lovely sights of fields filled with colorful flowers. The boy went by the name of Tails due to his two twin namesakes that he could use to fly. "I want to help..." He uttered weakly, knowing that Sonic wouldn't hear him through the sounds of battle filling the air. "I can help."_

_When the dust settled in the air both figuratively and literally, Tails watched around fifteen or so metal badniks fall apart into useless scraps with tiny sparks emitting from their frames and dark smoke wafting up into the air when he could finally see Sonic dusting himself off, an overconfident grin tugging at his lips as he gave Tails a thumbs up as if that would make up for leaving Tails behind like that. Again._

_Frustration gripped at his chest causing him to clench his fists tightly, lock his jaw while grinding his teeth, his fur became ruffled and out of place as he could feel the vexation grow because of Sonic. It was patronizing, Sonic never let him help. Sonic never ever stopped to allow Tails to help at all, he treated him like a helpless child and Tails hated it._

_Tails has contributed much over the years, he has proven himself worthy to be seen capable of capable, independent and a viable part of aid. Yet Sonic never saw that, he only saw Tails as the kid who couldn't take care of himself. This was one of the first of many similar memories drifting through the kitsune's mind that all surrounded around him and Sonic._

_Days where Sonic had to save the day and treat Tails as a civilian who needed protection but the fox didn't need nor want to be protected. No, he could handle the chaos. It was just the problem of his brother, he was capable but he wasn't mature about it. Another thing that bothered Tails so, was that Sonic didn't or couldn't take things seriously. As a hero Sonic is a role model, people expect many great things from him so he should mess that up by goofing off or other silly things like that. At least, that's what Tails thought in his mind._

_. . ._

_. . ._

Amy stared down the commander of G.U.N. with defiant jade eyes, barely trembling with fear from the human. Separating the two was a heavy set of bars, the commander stood on the free side while Amy glared from the imprisoned side.

"You can't keep me here like this. I did nothing wrong-" The pink hedgehog was cut off from her whining by the commander after he sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, with a scowl on his face.

"You  _bit_ and  _scratched_ two workers as an escape attempt. A poor attempt might I add. We have every right to keep you locked up in a cell, your evaluation results have proven how unstable you are. And you proved that with your little stunt, it's worrying how you can't see that."

"I just want to be with  _my Sonic._ " Amy pleaded. "The one you should be worrying about isn't me, it's that freak Shadow!"

"Agent Shadow? A word of advice, Ms Rose. Don't speak ill of one of my best agents, it won't bode well for your case." The warning was clear in the man's voice, yet Amy shook her head. Stalking closer to the bars Amy glowered at the military official.

"But he is a freak! And he's corrupting Sonic! I can prove it! Shadow is just as bad as he was back when those ugly Black Arm aliens invaded, he's trying to use Sonic!"

The commander was known to be brash and bold with his decisions, there was a time when he despised Shadow's very existence but now that things have been cleared up and secrets were revealed he knew now not to be so hasty with the pink hedgehog's opinionated declarations. The human could feel another growing headache coming on so he came up with a quick solution.

"Right. Then I'll have an 'agent' come and listen to what evidence you have." He told her, Amy perked up quickly, losing her glare and not noticing what his words truly meant. By agent, he means have one of his medics who weren't afraid of the girl give her another mental evaluation. Amy thanked him while the human only nodded before walking out of the cell barracks making his way straight to his office to pour himself  _another_ glass of whiskey. Dealing with the delusional whining girl had wore his patience down so much.  _'I'll be sure to make agent Rouge aware of her escape attempt. But_ after  _my drink.'_

. . .

Knuckles paced forwards then turned on his heels to pace in the opposite direction, with him was Rouge who could only watch him continue pacing. She'd rather have him pace like this until he could become calm and not storm into Tail's lab and strangle the kitsune teen into oblivion. But with Rouge's insistence he hasn't done that...yet at least. His footprints were embedded in the wet earth from the rain that has ceased it's storming, which led to mud staining his shoes but he could care less about simple shoes.

He had bigger matters to take care of, like his best friend Sonic and his emotional mental well-being. The strains of being a hero weighing his friend down more than he could've thought. The guilt built up in Knuckles thinking about Sonic, he could've helped his friend, he didn't see the little signs he left and now he was more than a little hurt to the point where he was seeking comfort from Shadow of all people. Don't get him wrong, Knuckles is sure Shadow is an okay guy after you get past his impossible to break through walls, but even if he said he would he was having a hard time trusting the ebony hedgehog. Never in a million years did he think Sonic would chose Shadow as a...romantic companion, when he tried confronting Shadow about that the older hedgie looked genuinely lost as if he didn't know what Knuckles was talking about. While Knuckles mused his thoughts to himself Rouge brought him back to reality.

"Hon, he doesn't want us to hurt him. He only wants us to calmly bring him back." Rouge restated while gently tugging the echidna's hand, gripping onto it with both of her hands. Knuckles stopped pacing at the contact, the guardian of the master emerald let out a frustrated sigh as he grumbled.

"That brat deserves a butt-kicking from his behavior lately. He's the reason why Amy even knew where Sonic was. I'm not as forgiving as Sonic is, I don't know what was going through his mind to even think of forgiving Tails." That was a lie of course, he does know why Sonic was so quick to forgive the two-tailed fox after Knuckles explained how Amy found him, and not just that. He was his brother in all but blood, he was willing to put the kitsune's attitude behind him just so he could have his brother back. Even after being hurt time after time Sonic still had a heart of gold.

"Oh I agree, he's not the same fox we know from before. People change, for better or worse. If anything, I bet Blue wants to tell Tails everything, who knows that might make the kid actually think outside of his mind and ego." The echidna stopped his grumbling after taking in Rouge's words. As much as he would like to teach Tails a lesson with his own white mitts, he didn't want to go against Sonic's wish to have Tails brought to him safely.

"If I admit you're right am I allowed to get the brat then?" Rouge smiled, her teal eyes lighting up, black wings fluttering behind her as she pressed her lips against Knuckles cheek causing the guardian to turn as red as his fur. Now that Knuckles was back he and Rouge had a heart to heart talk about where their budding friendship had grown into a more romantic one, the two having decided to take it slow.

"Yes dear." Was the ivory bat's only answer before the two treasure hunters made their way hand in hand into the home of their friends to bring a reluctant Tails back into Rouge and Shadow's home.

Knuckles led Rouge inside the house, making a direct bee-line straight into Tails' lab, it was the most logical spot in where to find the teen most often staying at. And find him they did, the fox wasn't aware of their presence as he was absorbed in typing in different lines of code into a laptop most likely belonging to him. His lab was cluttered with scraps of metal, different kinds of tools scattered around and inventions plus gadgets lying amongst the desks he had standing in different corners of the room. Rouge having not seen the teen for a long time could instantly tell that Tails hadn't only changed in personality but physically as well. He was much more taller, more slimmer with golden yellow fur, his two tails much longer and his fur being more sleek. The bat was growing impatient so she cleared her throat loudly which resulted in Tails being aware of them standing near the doorway. He momentarily spun around in his swivel seat, pausing in his typing to get a proper look at the two.

"What are you two doing here? I'm kinda busy at the moment." Tails gave them no chance to even explain why they were there, he was about to turn back around only to have Rouge pull his chair away from the laptop, "Hey knock that off, I'm being serious!" His complaining fell on deaf ears after Rouge began to speak, still pulling on the chair leading it almost out the doors until Tails hopped off to give her an incredulous look.

"Come on kid, we've got serious business to discuss back at my place. Sonic's there waiting for you."

"Can't it wait? I've got-"

"Nope! Now let's going shall we?" A rhetorical question of course. Her persistence made Tails groan and huff in annoyance, "Fine. I'll go. This better be good."

"Oh it is." Rouge told him with a serious look as she led the three out of the house and well on their way back to her home. The teen could sense something was happening as he complained less until eventually becoming silent altogether. He tailed behind the hand holding couple with a frown on his face as he tried to come up with an explanation as to why these two even wanted him to go with them to meet up with Sonic. He could be doing better things like fixing up inventions to sell off for more rings, it was his favorite occupation at the moment.


	14. Chapter 14

_"Hey Tails?" He spoke up, his voice timid with worry and uncertainty. Sonic took a few steps into Tails lab to see Tails himself turn around from his desk after writing different equations and solutions into a notebook. The kitsune smiled, "Yeah? You need anything?" Sonic smiled back, he must've caught Tails in one of his rare good moods._

_"Sorta. I just been thinking lately...do you ever...ever..." Sonic sighed as he struggled to explain what he wanted to. "Um. What I mean is...I don't really feel...like myself ya know? I kinda don't know who I am-" Sonic stopped talking when Tails flew over to him via namesakes and placed his hand over Sonic's forehead, with a look of concern on the teens face._

_"Are you feeling well Sonic? You aren't making much sense." Tails asked, the fox bit the inside of his cheek as he flew away from the hedgehog and flew off to his desk and opened up a cabinet, pulled out a white first aid kit which Sonic instantly disagreed with._

_"What? No Tails I'm fine! No what I mean is that haven't you ever noticed the expectations?"_

_"..." Sonic's statement was met with silence, he could see the kitsune's mind running. "Expectations?" Tails repeated. The hedgehog nodded his head, looking relieved that Tails was slowly getting it._

_"Yes. You know? Like what people say I have to be like as a hero. Those silly descriptions? Haven't you ever noticed that it's not just with me? It's with everybody! Like Amy! Knuckles! Espio! Cream! Even you! Everybody has these expectations that we've got to live up to but nobody ever sees it!" Sonic said, speaking very fast with excitement at the thought of Tails being able to understand and see it too. He was so caught up in it that he didn't see the way Tails flinched slightly with every word or the way his face morphed into a fearful expression. Like he was afraid of Sonic at the moment._

_"A-alright. Sonic. I believe you." The kitsune lied, his blue eyes critically analyzing his brother thoroughly. Sonic saw through the lame lie and his excitement dabbed away when he saw how cautious Tails was being._

_"...Right. You do..." His voice trailed off. The air tense and heavy hanging over them, clinging to them. "You believe me."_

_A lie they both knew. Questions rose inside each of them, yet they remained silent. Tails, morbidly curious but afraid of the hedgehog cleared his throat._

_"I do." He didn't. He didn't understand him at all. Despair flooded through the hedgehog's body and an empty hollow feeling dug into his chest. This further pushed the two's strained brotherly bond farther away. At one time, they were as close as can be, they took on the whole world together yet now here they stood. As they aged they changed, these changes wore the bond down. Only time could tell whether the bonds would ever be mended whole...or if it will continue to thin like a string waiting to snap._

. . .

Shadow was uncertain of how this...disagreement really started between him and Sonic once the two hedgehogs were alone after their treasure hunting friends had left. Sonic had begun to flip through the pages of the notebook after pulling away from Shadow, wiping away his tears while flashing him a grateful smile. Then that smile faded as his more darker thoughts began to plague him to the point where he just had to question just why Shadow was even here.

"Why are you helping me like this..." He whispers, his voice as soft as the petals of a flower blooming. Yet his words are what causes the flower to wilt up and die as fast as it bloomed. "You disliked me from the start until now. Everybody else chose to ignore my problems or they chose to break me into their definition of a hero." His back was turned to the other, he didn't want the other to have the satisfaction of seeing his lip tremble, his emerald eyes well up with tears slowly rolling down his cheeks as he silently wept awaiting his ebony counterpart's answer, if he would even answer him at all. With his constant shifting emotions, he was surprised to say the least that Shadow hasn't given up on him yet. Deciding he had beaten around the bush one too many times, now was the time to finally get to the point. Of asking the whys he had inside of his mind.

"...I'm not going to give up on you if that's what you're thinking. I can be as stubborn as you are, whether or not you want me to now I'm here for you." Shadow replies just as soft as Sonic's voice, however his voice was stern with determination leaking through it. "I couldn't see through your mask, I didn't bother to. I was, and still am selfish but I want to make that up to you..." Ruby red eyes drank in the sight of Sonic's tense body, he could see the tiny jerky motions of his shoulders moving up and down as if he was laughing...but he already knew the other was crying once more. Sonic began to wonder how Shadow could see through his mask, and tell what he was thinking. Though he continued to ask him more questions after his ebony counterpart failed to further elaborate his answer.

"What's changed that then? Why do you care about me now? Why bother to try with me? This shouldn't even matter to you.  _I_ shouldn't matter to you."

"You matter to me. That's why. I'm here because I do care about you Faker, more than you may think."

"Why do you keep avoiding that question.  _What changed?"_  Sonic went to face Shadow, his emerald hues sadly staring and ears drooping "I wasn't anything more than a loudmouthed annoyance getting himself into things he shouldn't have. A trouble maker hailed as a hero A fool. A f-faker. These are words you've said to me Shadow. I can't wrap my head it, if this is how you felt then what was it that changed your perspective of me."

"I see life in you that doesn't deserve to be put out like a candle, I didn't pay attention to before..." Ruby red eyes distantly could see a flicker of an outline of a young girl behind the blue hedgehog. Familiar sky blue dress, silky blonde hair, bright round eyes of joy and hope gazed at him. He blinked and it (more like she) disappeared as fast as it came. This did not deter him from speaking. "Do you not wish to be here? Do you not trust me?"

"I- of course I do. I tr-"

"Then why do continue to push me away? Is it beca-"

_**FLASH** _

The two hedgehogs were slightly blinded when a flash of light illuminate from outside. The two were paused in their moments, not knowing what or where the flash really came from when another flash of light went off again.

**_FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH_ **

**_FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH_ **

Sonic threw an arm up to cover his eyes, there was a continuous stream of- his heart skipped a few beats, dread and nausea crawling through him- these were camera flashes. Time seemed to freeze and Sonic could get a glimpse of outside where a large bay window was, the origin of the flashes of light came through and Sonic could see them. Dozens of mobians with cameras were taking photos of them and Sonic could vividly remember these people. It was a paparazzi, people who constantly chased and hounded not only Sonic but the others as well.

Shadow's ears flicked in annoyance and anger, eyes narrowed and fangs showing as he glowered toward the group of idiots who had no right to be here and invade their privacy. How he wanted to teach every single person there a valuable painful lesson! With a side glance, ebony could see cobalt blue and the light lit up and captured pictures of the two. Sonic must've been horrified, his quills were ruffled up and tears continued to fall as he stared blankly towards the floods of flashes, arms down limp at his side. Shadow knew he had to make a choice, chase these people out of his home or take Sonic away somewhere safe. Wasting no more time Shadow chose his decision with no hesitation and grabbed Sonic's wrist and the two disappeared, their figures dissolved in electric blue from Shadow's chaos control.

. . .

Rouge, Knuckles, and Tails were so close to Rouge's home, through the clearing of trees and shrubs they would be there in a minute or two. As they continued their walk Tails could feel himself growing more irritated by the second by the constant glaring aimed at the back of his head, it was making him both annoyed and paranoid! His twin namesakes twitched as well as his brows, he knew very well that Knuckles was eyeing him closely because one, Rouge was flying slowly in front of him and two the echidna guardian hasn't said a word to the fox at all, only stare at him harshly. Deciding he had enough Tails twisted himself around, placing his hands on his hips as he looked at Knuckles to ask him what his problem was.

"What is your problem? You've done nothing but silently glower at me like you're pretending to be Shadow or something." Tails didn't understand what Sonic could possibly want, for all he knew he probably injured himself pestering Shadow or somewhere along the lines of that area. That hedgehog was nothing but a distracted immature leader that Tails had to get after many times to be on his best behavior. He also didn't understand why Knuckles scoffed at his words, with his arms crossed over his chest the echidna shook his head in disbelief.

"Do you know what your actions have caused? Did you even think for a second that maybe sending Amy right to Sonic's location would be a bad idea? You remember how unhealthy her obsession is with him. Yet you still thought you were right..." Knuckles voice grew hardened and cold, angry with the kitsune for thinking that Amy's obsession with him is remotely good.

"Is this what this is about? Yes! I think having Amy with Sonic is a good idea. Chaos knows she can put him in line. I'll admit, her obsession is too strong but it's because she cares and worries for Sonic like the rest of us." Tails said smugly, he was certain he was right and expected Knuckles to apologize but he didn't. The echidna laughed coldly.

"Tails. You need a reality check. I get it, you're a genius, intelligent and all that crap. But that doesn't mean you can treat the people who care about you like nothing." Knuckles remarked, he spoke slowly, thinking that maybe Tails will actually listen to the words he said but he was wrong.

"I am a genius, therefore that means I know more than all of you. I'm only trying to help you, you have to see the bigger picture. Like Amy and Sonic, he needs someone to ground him and Amy is perfect for that. I'm the only one intelligent enough to do that."

"It's a real shame!" Knuckles snapped. "Your intelligence means fucking nothing if you're devoid of empathy and sympathy! It's all nothing! You hear me? You aren't caring or human at all if you don't have these and you don't. All you rely on is your damn intelligence. Why don't you get out of your big headed ego and see the people you have in your life like your brother Sonic. Why I outta beat this into your head ya know that you brat!" Knuckles threateningly moved towards the fox who had been verbally slapped and about to be physically slapped as well. Or he would have had Rouge not stop in her place and let out a loud gasp.

Rouge placed her hand over her mouth, teal eyes wide and big with shock at the sight they could see several yards in front of the walking trio. "What in chaos?" She uttered while her hand was clasped around Knuckles' hand, surrounding her home was regular civilian mobians clamoring about each other all around her home, trying to get a glimpse of the inside with cell phones or large expensive cameras flashing brightly. These weren't just regular mobians, they were paparazzi celebrity seeking idiots that chased Sonic across the globe. Knuckles was pissed once he figured out just why the paparazzi were here for, somehow they must've gotten word of Sonic's location once more and made their move.

"Oh hell no! Get out of here!" Knuckles yelled angrily once the trio had gotten closer to the house, his booming voice silenced the crowd of people. There had to have been dozens of men and women who stared blankly at Knuckles. Though their eyes lit up hungrily once they could see the pair of treasure hunters holding hands with Tails in tow. Not long after, cameras flashed as their pictures were taken that momentarily blinded the trio. Tails had dealt with paparazzi very little compared to the rest of the gang, typically it was Sonic or Amy who would watch over the youngest and keep him away from the prying eyes. However as the fox aged he became corrupted underneath the words of the masses. A fault of no one's really, it had just happened.

"Look!" "They're holding hands!" "I totally knew they were a couple!" "She's probably just sneaking after for more of those rock emerald thingies." "I don't know what he sees in her, she's nothing more than a common thief who got pardoned."

The ivory bat flinched at the comments they made about her but she remained resilient and stoic, looking unbothered and bored with their words. She needed to remain calm, get these people out of here. How they even found her home was a mystery she was determined and hellbent in finding out. Her fingers laced around Knuckles' hand and the bat knew that the echidna didn't believe a word they said. For Sonic. For now they needed to get out of the paparazzi's gazes and get to Sonic and Shadow...that is if they were still there at least.


	15. Chapter 15

Emerald hues took in the sight, even through blurry tears did the planet look gorgeous from afar. He could see the entire world in front of him, oceans of heavy blue, vibrant green lands, the clouds swirled, the sun burned as the Earth of life orbited around it, splashes of stars light years away made it look glorious. Millions, even billions, will never get this chance to drink in a sight as beautiful as this so that's what he did. He gazed at it, looking on with a heart heavy as lead and as fragile as china glass with hopes higher than the clouds that maybe...maybe...he would get the dream he wished for...

A life without pressures or expectations by everybody. The struggles of never being good enough. The pain and heartache from how hard he tried only for it to be forgotten. Like him, he as a person was forgotten. Instead they forged a new him that wasn't human in their eyes, he wasn't a person at all. No he was the idol and toy they could do with whatever they pleased.

He looked back at the world, with defiant yet hopeful eyes, heart screaming out his desire for a better life! Where he isn't put down! Berated or attacked! He was himself, not a faker wearing a mask that nobody could see. Where the world he currently gazed down at didn't look down on him anymore.

"...Maria often became entranced by the sight too. She longed to live down on Earth..." Sonic, hearing the other's voice softly speak, turning his head he could see that Shadow too had been partially lost, gazing at the planet fondly. The ebony hedgehog could sense how familiar this was, all too familiar that his chest ached with longing. Memories built up within him, unwinding in the form of flashes of vivid memories he could remember. Perhaps...someday he would finally be able to let go, but he had held on for so long that he wouldn't know what to do with himself. But that, was for another day he supposed. "I want to ask, 'are you okay' but after-" He bit his tongue to keep from cursing the words he so desperately wanted to call those fools. "-Those people, celebrity chasing idiots found us I knew we couldn't stay there. Not when you are hurting and vulnerable like this. This was the only place I could think of that nobody would find you."

Separating the two from the void of emptiness and space was a sheet of glass several feet tall and even wider than that. Sonic pressed a peach hand up to the glass, the cold touch left his skin tingling from the sudden lack of warmth. Despite how utterly cold it was, the sight from here on the Space Colony ARK was always a mesmerizing one, even when he was in a state of distress like this.

"I'm sorry...it was my fault this happened. If I hadn't bothered you then the journalists would'a left you alone. I'm only bothering you guys, dumping my stupid problems onto you." Sonic stated quietly whilst turning his gaze away from Shadow's to stare back out into space, pulling his hand away he wiped at the tears harshly, hastily rubbing his hand at his eyes. Sonic's muzzle flamed red from embarrassment, his face heating up. It was his fault- that he had brought those disgusting vultures that call themselves a paparazzi over to where Shadow and Rouge lived comfortably in silence. Just like their other friends, (or rather 'friends'), nearly every one of the heroes typically lived in the outskirts of the capital Mobius City in peace until another battle had to be fought whether it was Eggman, G.U.N. or the masses. Those people...how distressed Sonic felt just thinking about them. They chased him, invaded what little privacy and freedom he could get with cameras, ready to catch whatever they could about him. That wasn't all they did though, the slander he got was sickening, the false words and lies spread about him pressured him to do better time and time again. Pushing himself to be the perfect model of a hero and straining him until he could no longer handle it himself.

"That's what you think Faker." Shadow spoke, Sonic kept himself frozen, continuing to stare out through the glass and avoid Shadow's ruby eyes narrowing at him. "Those journalists have always pestered me and the others, though it's you who has it worse. There's no need to apologize for that." He says softly, though this didn't mean there wasn't strong hints of stubborn determination. "Everybody has problems, many don't get help and it eats them up from the inside. Getting help from those who care about you isn't a bother."

Sonic shuddered in surprise when Shadow's hand lightly gripped his shoulder, the younger of the two didn't even hear the clanking of Shads shoes against the cold metal floor, but very quickly did Sonic find himself relaxing into the touch. Sonic turned to meet ruby hues that seemed to look right through his aching soul, he listening to Shadow continue speaking.

"And to answer your questions from earlier. You don't need to have a reason to help out a friend, to be there for someone." Ever so slowly did the two find themselves moving closer, each lost in ruby gems and emerald diamonds. Understanding linked them together, their growing bond is like the threads of fabric still being quilted and sewn. The piece of thread had been weak, easy to break but the more open they were the more the thread had grown and spread out. For now, the thread grew and maybe soon would there be a sheet of threads ready to overcome their pasts, to not cover or cloak it but heal the pain with compassion and love.

...Or would the pain be too much to where nothing will help? Could it be enough to help Sonic out of his false self, let him let go of the mask? For Shadow would he ever release the ghost of a girl he loved like a sister and get past the memories of the ARK?

Time, being a fickle thing could tell if it was able to speak words, but perhaps it would tell truths speckled with lies wrapped over the petals of a white rose, staining it red.

* * *

**Hey...did ya like it? Please leave a review if you did! Also thank y'all so much for supporting this story! :) The cliffhanger must be leaving you wanting to know what happens next huh. Don't worry you'll find out on Christmas Eve as a sort of soft present. :D Happy holidays everybody! (Drive and travel safe, wishing positive vibes for everyone!)**


	16. Chapter 16

"Did you find their signatures yet?" Knuckles demanded fiercely, his eyes blazed brightly with anger coursing through him. The guardian was practically breathing down Tails' back, the teen had been typing furiously fast on his laptop at his desktop with no sign of slowing down, a steady quick pace of clicks were made from his speedy typing.

Those damned idiots had chased the trio away from Rouge's home, they had managed to get away by flying, or gliding in Knuckles's case, out of there back to Sonic and Tails' place. Right now, the echidna waited impatiently for Tails to pick up any signature from Sonic or Shadow since they seemed to have just disappear off of the Earth itself in the midst of the journalist and paparazzi chaos. Rouge stood off in the corner of the lab, she behaved calmly, though the bat was feeling very anxious and worried for the two hedgehogs, whom she kept attempting to call through her communicator to no avail.

Knuckles received no answer from the kitsune, who had been completely silent during the whole ordeal. Only uttering soft words so quiet that even Rouge had trouble picking up on them despite her super hearing. Frustrated, Knuckles let out an angry, loud sigh and stomped out of Tails' lab to let off some steam, slamming the door shut with a loud bang that made both mobians jump. Rouge stared to where Knuckles had stood sadly, however she knew he needed some alone time at the moment. Things had been hectic and it was common knowledge amongst the heroes how much large crowds made the guardian echidna severely uncomfortable.

"...I-" Tails whispered nervously, fingers tapping on his desktop, namesakes twitching every few seconds. "-I f-found Shadow's chaos signature..." The kitsune teen turned around to awkwardly face Rouge in his spinning chair. "It's f-faint, but it's coming fr-from the Space Colony Ark...Shadow must've taken him and Sonic there to escape..."

Rouge nodded, she stood up, letting her heels touch the floor as she started to speak to Tails,"Are you silent because you have been thinking about what Knuckles said?"

"..." Tails opened his mouth but no words came out so he simply shut it and nodded, blue eyes avoiding the gaze of the older woman. Rouge crossed her arms across her chest, tapping her foot onto the ground.

"So what did you come up with then? Are you finally acknowledging what you've been running from?" Rouge's voice was stern, very different from her normally free vivacious one.

"I am being self-centered. My ego has gotten in the way of my compassion and sympathy..." Admitting he was wrong had earned the tiniest bit of respect from the ivory bat, but there was much disappointment in her gaze. Tails may have been reciting what Knuckles said earlier but with the look of acceptance and confusion in his eyes had convinced her that maybe Tails wasn't a lost cause when it comes to being there for Sonic.

"Did- did Sonic really get hurt? H-how bad was it?" His words further cemented some compassion from Rouge, her face contorted into one of anger, barely contained hatred and loathing at the reason as to why Sonic was even hurt in the first place. Amy Rose.

"Amy potentially could have  _killed him_ , that psychopath broke in and swung that hammer at him. Chaos did it feel good to take her down..." Rouge's chill personality disappeared and was replaced by the serious agent. "Shadow went into shock at the sight...it triggered traumatic memories and I couldn't for the life of me shake him out of it." Teal eyes became cold and steely. "Sonic was dying. That doesn't even help his mental state of mind. At. All. That poor hedgehog came to us for comfort and somebody to listen and understand us, he is vulnerable and  _she_ had the  _stupidity_ and  _nerve_ to try and hurt him because her obsession went unchecked and was even fueled and encouraged."

Tails flinched at her words knowing that she was talking about him, the fox went pale with his face turning very ashen. He never thought Amy would try and kill Sonic. The reality began to weigh down on him as he thought about it... Sonic might've been dead at this moment had Amy not been stopped in time. Other questions began to bubble and cloud his mind, plaguing him with horrifying and scary thoughts of what-if's and remorse left him feeling nauseous and panic-stricken. What did she mean by Sonic's mental state of mind, why did Sonic seek out comfort from the two G.U.N. agents? Shadow the hedgehog, a cold and emotionless man like him went into shock? Was it truly that bad?

"Why did you and K-Knuckles really come for me then?"

"Sonic asked us to. Frankly I would've let Knuckles beat some sense into you, but he asked us not to hurt you. Sonic told us many things he has kept to himself, like how you have changed into a brat with no respect or caring in you." Rouge divulged. "He isn't...well. With the constant weight on his shoulders, it took a toll on him. I'm guessing Sonic came to us for-" She tapped her chin, thinking up the more simpler way to say it. "-Somebody to understand. Comfort. Other reasons that I don't fully know about yet."

"...Why you two? He could've came for any other people..." Tails asked, fingers twiddling together. Despite how his words may have sounded, they were only a soft innocent question a child might've asked. Like the child Tails once was.

"Hm...let me rephrase. He came for Shadow really..." Rouge grew uncharacteristically quiet. Not with jealousy nor hurt, only because Sonic should be the one answering his brother's questions, not her.

"How do you know? Did he say?"

"I can see it..." Rouge simply said, secrets swirled around her words, tightening her voice shut from uttering anymore. "We have wasted enough time...I'll get Knuckles and we can figure out a way to get into the Ark." Twisting around with the heels of her shoes, Rouge took two steps forwards but was stopped by the kitsune.

"I have a chaos emerald!" Tails blurted out, he grew uncertain and embarrassed at his outburst once Rouge turned back around to face him. "I received one as a prize...for er- entering an invention in a contest few weeks back. I-I'm sure either you or Knuckles can do chaos control."

"Things...are looking up. Let's see if luck will be on our sides that those two are alright." The ivory bat was gone, leaving behind a teen who had finally began to let the words and truth sink into his mind. For no matter how hard you may try, the truth will seep underneath any walls you bear until the only thing left to do is to finally face it.

. . .

Rouge wasn't very knowledgeable about the layout of Sonic's home, so the treasure hunter had a spot of trouble in finding a certain echidna who guarded the powerful Master Emerald. Stepping down narrow halls outside of Tails' bedroom and lab, she began to take in the house Sonic lived in. On the walls were many pictures that were taken over the years, photos that captured memories that Rouge was apart of and others Rouge wasn't.

Getting closer looks, Rouge could see the bright shining faces of many mobians Rouge knew. The heroes who had saved the people and the world itself many times. There were the groups they had classified themselves and were known as.

 _Team Sonic_ : Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles.  _Team Dark_ : Shadow, Rouge, and Omega.  _Team Rose_ : Amy, Cream, and Big.  _Team Chaotix_ : Espio, Vector, and Charmy. _The Babylon Rogues_ : Jet, Wave, and Storm. Then there were the individuals who had worked with the heroes. Silver, Blaze, Mighty, Ray, Sticks.

Sonic had pictures of everybody from over the years, it was easy to tell seeing as how  _young_ and vibrant everybody looked. It was a group photo, it had been a giant pain just to get everybody there to take it. At the time, this was when all the 'heroes' as they were dubbed by the public, had still been very close together and was tightly knitted into their teams.

But that was many years ago, nearly six-ish or so. This may seem like a short amount of time to some, but people change, things change. In a span of seconds, a persons life can be drastically changed. There was a less need for heroes and such these days, so everybody began to move on and accept their new lifestyle as celebrities and famous people like Jet, Amy, Vector, and Charmy for example. Or others like Espio, Big, Cream, Blaze, and Sonic had disliked the attention they were given so they had taken up private lives away from the bustling crowds. However Sonic wasn't able to escape the worlds grasp as easily as they.

The blue speed demon has met so many people, many he's called a friend. But having friends...can feel like you don't have any friends at all. Like you have nobody there for you. Nobody to see what's beneath your mask, if there is even a mask at all.

The group photo hung up on the wall, getting a closer look Rouge marveled at her friends. Her eyes landed on Shadow first, the ebony hedgehog was of course, sulking in the photo. Rouge herself, was leaning against him with a sly smile, next to her was Omega E-123 Omega, an intelligent robot with a bulky frame, Omega threw his hands up into a peace-sign that the ivory bat had taught him to do. Grinning at the picture, Rouge's lips then thinned as she remembered her friend Omega fondly yet solemnly.

It had been hard on her and Shadow after the poor robot had taken one too many attacks during one of Eggman's stupid, pointless raids only two years ago. He had shut down as nobody could repair him. G.U.N. had let them keep Omega and Rouge keeps him at her club downtown in the heart of Mobius city, with the hopes that maybe their friend would get repaired.

Sweeping her teal eyes over to the rest of the friends in the photo, Rouge saw the different faces shes known over the years, some are smiling brightly, a few others are brooding like Shadow, Charmy had stuck out his tongue, Silver winked, Jet flexed much to the amusement of Wave and Storm. A few others did crazy antics and Rouge found Sonic himself. He's smiling...throwing his hand into a thumbs up with with his other arm wrapped around Tails and Knuckles gleefully. He looked happy yes, but inside his eyes was this look of sadness. Taking other glances to different pictures, Rouge can see that Sonic smiles brightly and cheekily in some with Tails when they were noticeably younger. Yet in the more recent photos Rouge can see the pattern.

Sonic smiles less truthfully, a fake one he has mastered over time, he only looks more exhausted and tired but no matter what he kept that mask of his on. As if he couldn't take it off even if he tried.


	17. Chapter 17

_It was like a dream, an utterly beautiful fantasy his heart seemed to desire. Shad's fingers brushed over his cheek, wiping away any stray tears that stubbornly remained. Sonic's heart beat heavily in his chest so fast and thumping so loud that he could almost swear that Shadow would hear it._

_Sonic...he didn't know why._

_But this moment felt...special._

_He felt safe._

_That fear he held in dissolved, his aching heart's pain had numbed, Sonic may have cried but his tears had dried. It was like he unlocked the shackles keeping him trapped within himself, he was free._

_Their bodies were almost pressing together, the stars glittered from beyond the glass and the splashes of stars that the universe carried had been stained into each of their eyes like paint on an empty canvas. Ruby eyes looking like dazzling gems he could forever get lost gazing into._

_They were almost at an embrace, the short space keeping them apart grew thinner by the second. Slowly and gradually did the gap cease to exist once they were clasped into the other's arms. His touch left him feeling both calm and nervous, he was uncertain yet ready for what he was sure was going to happen._

_Protectively, ebony arms wrapped around Sonic's waist and lower back, while Sonic's peach arms were placed behind Shadow's neck. Sonic knew Shadow wanted to help him, he wished to help the younger of the two heal and break the mask the hero wore._

_Were they going too fast?_

_What if they were moving too slow?_

_Why were they so close?_

_And why did he enjoy being in the arms of Shadow like this?_

_Both of their eyes had closed, as the hedgehogs were entranced by the intimate and private moment. Their lips had met, making contact as they shared a chaste soft kiss that suddenly made Sonic's heart go pitter patter and flutter like a butterfly taking flight. It was sweet, the cobalt blur practically buzzed with delight at the blissful elation that left him floating on soft fluffy clouds._

_But why did Sonic's eyes snap open, why did he push himself out of Shadow's grasp and run? Why did he flee so quickly as if he was being chased?_


	18. Chapter 18

Shadow felt ashamed of himself, just what the hell was he thinking? Who was he kidding he wasn't thinking at all when it came to  _kissing_ Sonic. It had been mere impulse! An impulse he didn't feel very comfortable with. One, because he never fully considered ever being in a relationship with a significant other at all. Two, Sonic isn't ready for an actual relationship yet, and neither was he.

And now the blue hedgehog had shoved him away, running away while leaving behind a blue streak and a confused Shadow. Some time had passed, nearly half an hour, and Sonic still hadn't made an appearance since, Shadow had tried to follow Sonic but no luck. Even with his memories and knowledge of the Ark's maze-like layabout, the ebony hedgehog couldn't find Sonic anywhere. Sonic's deviously good at hiding when he wished, and Shadow should've figured that out that day in the forest.

Turning down an empty hallway in which the half he walked into was dark while the other end was lit up with lights. His red, white, and black metal skates clunked heavily over the cold steel floors, his shoes had scraped the ground which echoed into the silence and bounced off the walls. It had begun to creep him out, being by himself walking through halls of his past. He understood why Sonic had ran off, in fact he felt guilt clinging to him.

He had meant for Sonic to be brought here to keep him safe, to pull him from the prying eyes of those damned vultures before Sonic had too much and panicked. Not go over the limits and frighten Sonic out of the control room into the deeper parts of the Ark.

Had he regretted it? Yes and no. The kiss had been enjoyable, pleasantly so. But he should've thought more clearly before it, this was Sonic he kissed. Sonic is going through a lot, he doesn't need to add this to his plate.

He was in his sullen musing while he continued searching for the cobalt blur when Shadow's ears twitched after hearing noises coming closer from the distance. Pausing in his place, he listened attentively.

There were voices and more than one pair of footsteps. Instantly knowing that it should only be him and Sonic on the Ark, Shadow swiftly took cover in the dark, not knowing if there was danger approaching or not. The ultimate lifeform was tense, stiff as a board, and ready to strike or attack if needed.

"-Here somewhere." A young voice spoke. Shadow's eyes owlishly stared at the other end of the hall, waiting for the possible intruders to show up. And that they did, only did Shadow relax after three figures approached and were revealed to be Rouge, Knuckles, and the kitsune he recognized as Tails.

"We've checked everywhere, it's like a damn maze in here." Knuckles grumbled, it was easy to tell he was in a bad mood that hadn't been lifted up just yet.

"The readings are saying that he's nearby close." Tails pointed out. Thus, tapping his communicator he had tracking chaos emeralds with his fingers.

Shadow didn't know how or when those three had made there way onto the Ark, but seeing as they were friends and not enemies he made his appearance known. "Rouge?"

Tails had flinched by his voice, obviously startled and not expecting to hear Shadow but no see him. Knuckles' eyes were glancing everywhere in the dark side of the hall until they froze onto Shadow's barely noticeable silhouette. Rouge was flying but had ceased as she looked towards Shadow. The ebony lifeform stepped out of the shadows and Rouge looked visibly relieved.

"So you did come here. How are you two? Those journalists were practically snapping at our heels when we tried to leave." Rouge started, like a worrying mother or sister she looked over Shadow with concern written all over her face. "Chaos only knows how bad it was for you two."

"If I ever get my hands on those idiots, they'll regret the day they were born." Knuckles said aloud and Shadow agreed instantly.

"Those fools scared him...it wasn't good. He froze up while they were taking pictures of him as if he was an animal in a zoo to be leered at." Shadow divulged, his eyes were narrowed as he stared off thinking about how much he wished those idiots would pay for being so insensitive, so stupid and greedy. "I had to think fast so I grabbed him and took us here. It was the only place I could think of." With this Rouge and Knuckles nodded, paying close attention to his words while Tails looked afraid and lost in thought.

"Whe-where is Sonic?" Tails asked tentatively, wringing his hands together nervously when the three older mobians had their attention fixated on him. Then Knuckles and Rouge looked back towards Shadow who didn't know how to answer.

"He is-" Opening his mouth, Shadow had hesitated to reveal the truth but he had been interrupted by the blue blur himself.

"Right here." Sonic said, the blue hedgehog smiled cheekily at the group after he too had suddenly stepped into the hallway besides Shadow yet he refused to make eye contact with the older hedgehog. Shadow felt confused, where the hell did Sonic come from? "Hey guys."

The only one who looked like they believed the smile of Sonic's to be real and truthful was Tails. Knuckles and Rouge shared lost looks before staring at Shadow questioningly. Sonic looked well and bubbly, but that was a lie. And Shadow was determined to help Sonic be the real him and not rely on a mask anymore.

The three other mobians had noted that Sonic had been paying close attention to Tails, as if he wanted to say many things on his mind but kept his lips shut tight. Something was wrong, it was like Sonic's true self had disappeared more as the mask was worn. Had Shadow not already known what was wrong he would've thought Sonic was perfectly okay. That truly scared him.


	19. Chapter 19

_While Rouge stayed behind with Tails, who worked in trying to find either of the hedgehog's chaos signatures, Knuckles stomped out of the room. Slamming the lab door shut in his disgruntled state. He left the lab, went past Sonic's bedroom in the hall and made his way into the kitchen to settle his anger. The echidna tried to not lose his cool. Key word, tried._

_It wasn't surprising to say when he did storm away to be alone, there wasn't much he could do other than pester Tails until the kitsune could find them. He's naturally worried for his friend, before large crowds were a piece of cake for him. Or so it seemed. Knuckles could only imagine how upset Sonic must be at the moment. Sonic never really handled paparazzi or journalists that well in the past, and him being very vulnerable at the moment would definitely make Sonic feel very attacked and overwhelmed._

_Knuckles pulled out a dining chair from it's place at the table roughly, the legs of the chair scraping and groaning on the floor. Taking a seat, he sighed loudly and decided to take a few deep breaths. Sonic is with Shadow right now, he should be okay right now. Knuckles is just getting too worked up. He wasn't against Sonic and Shadow being together, he just hoped Shadow didn't hurt Sonic._

_Seeing that he had some time to kill, Knuckles tried to stop overthinking and worrying himself. Underneath his white glove was his wrist communicator which he revealed after pulling the glove off. The echidna decided it was about time to make a quick call to check up on the Master Emerald. A few seconds later after entering a phone number, there was a couple of seconds of ringing until somebody picked up._

_"Team Chaotix at your service!"_

* * *

**:D**


	20. Chapter 20

Peach fingers looped around the fragile glass cup filled with hot tea, steam lightly wafting from the drink, and raised the cup to peach lips belonging to Sonic. Rouge insisted on the tea, he had been uncharacteristically silent the whole time. But the bat has patience to last her a lifetime. Rouge liked that about herself, but this isn't about her.

On the Ark Rouge knew that something was up when they found Shadow alone, the look on his face had been very obvious to anybody -Rouge- who knew the ultimate lifeform very well. Often she had seen the look of regret pinch at his facial features when the past dragged him back to his hell, it went away over time but there is more to that look she saw.

His face revealed much, but to Knuckles and Tails they didn't see it. In Shadow's eyes of crackling, fiery magma is where guilt dampened the intensity of the heat. Sonic was the first to suggest, right away, that it's time to leave the Ark. All without once glancing back at Shadow. It's clear as day how forced his smiles and laughs were. And it upsets Rouge more than ever, how was he always like this without anybody noticing?

"Something happened. What is it?"

"..."

"Now hon, I'm not stupid. I know something happened."

"...We- I-" Turning his head away to hide his face with a sigh escaping his lips. "...We kissed."

* * *

I'm trying. I really am. _It's hard_ , more hard than I thought it'd be.

I could be having the time of my life when it hits. I'll be throwing my head back in laughter and smiling like an idiot with nothing but a bright happy future when suddenly a stabbing ache in my chest makes me stop.

It's a lonely pang. One that I've become familiar with over time.

I could be hanging out with every single one of my friends at a party, and I'll still feel like I'm all alone. When I'm in their company everything gets toned down and I can finally enjoy myself and smile.

But when I'm alone...that's a different story. It really hurts. When I'm alone my mind doesn't stop thinking. It doesn't stop making me feel horrible. I really don't know who I am. Who the real me even is. All I do is  _pretend._

When the bad feeling inevitably comes for me, I just push it away in the back of my mind. Because I can worry about it later. When nobody is around to see me not be the person they know.

_I'm so scared._

They want- no they  _need_  me to be strong. To be the hero. That perfect hero that will always be there to save the world and the help the people whenever they need it. Living up to that expectation and more was easy, except I began to notice details I didn't see before.

Pretending with a mask, I could see how easily everybody bought my forced laughs and fake smiles. Even my closest buddies didn't see past it. I just want to be myself.

_I'm tired._

I want someone to care enough to see the real me. I want to be real enough again. I want to be someone who doesn't have to pretend, to not be a faker. Shads...he's been through so much...more than I ever have and he's never let anyone make him pretend. He's so real...I look up to him so much because of this. But I always manage to get on his nerves by existing, I don't mean to but I still do because it's a piece of my mask that I can't take off.

Even if I'm in pain I'm the hero so that has to mean I put that pain behind me. I'm stuck! I'm trapped beneath the expectations that no one but me seems to notice. Nobody does notice. Nobody sees. I bet that if I was to be captured by my enemies and tortured for half a year and miraculously got free nobody would care that I had been tortured. If I somehow came back with my fake grins and stupid jokes and nobody would bat an eye, I bet my friends wouldn't even question it or look into it...

If I pretend again today, maybe they'll be happier with me.

Maybe they do care, that's why I live up to their expectations, because they  _do_ care...

_But do they_  really?

_Why can't anyone save me?_

_Am I not enough still?_


	21. Chapter 21

Rouge picked up her cup of tea, the scalding hotness hardly registered within her senses after she took a long excruciating sip of the burning tea. Her main focus is on Sonic, and only Sonic, with concern. Whatever idea Sonic originally had from the beginning must've never included leading up to this. Plans never seem to go as expected.

"You kissed?" She said, repeating what Sonic just said. Sonic kept himself from meeting her gaze and the hedgehog gave her a sharp nod, his eyes pointedly staring with a forced blank look on his face. Rouge sees all however. The way he is sitting uncomfortably straight, how his fingers fidgeted timidly with his drink, the bat can see how he's biting the inside of his cheek as if he has much to say in his head but his voice won't speak up. Rouge took in a deep breath whilst tensing, even though she knows the truth already, she just wants to make complete sure of it. Even if it is a tad bit...uncomfortable to ask. "Was it consensual? You both wanted it? Shadow...he didn't...try-"

"No! No, it wasn't forced or anything like that-" He was quick to open his mouth and speak up, his emerald eyes even met hers briefly, then Sonic paused after interrupting Rouge from finishing that unneeded sentence because he knows it wasn't forced. With those words being said, Rouge visibly relaxed, almost like the weight of a thousand pounds had just been lifted off of her shoulders. The blue hedgehog continued, "-We kissed. I don't know why we did. But we kissed."

"I know Shadow would never ever think of trying anything like that, I just felt like I should ask in case that wasn't what happened...Now back to the present. How are you feeling?" The agent kept a watchful eye over the younger mobian. His carefully crafted mask he wore was back up. She didn't need to be a genius to know that he's greatly confused, his heart flashing from heart to stone in a way to block off the pain and trauma he very recently acquired.

"Fine." Curt. Short.  _Lie._

Rouge clicked her tongue like a worried mother tending to her wounded child. "Please don't lie to me like that, we all want to help you. You can trust us enough to let go of your mask, we're here for you. The  _real_ you." She placed great emphasis on real, because it is true. That is who they were helping. The real him, the shining one with lots of love and forgiveness that's been locked away from the scrutiny and expectations of those he loves and cares about.

"I'm confused, Rouge, by everything...I want to be free...but I'm scared because I don't know how to do this on my own."

She outstretched her hand to Sonic's, gently holding his hand and intertwining their fingers into a firm grip with the promise that she'll never let go. "You won't have to do this alone. Like I said before, we're going to help you. You and Shadow can be stubborn with that, you know." Seeing Sonic's small look of curiosity, Rouge said, "You two think and act alike more than you would think. You have people who love you, who care about you, want to give their help to you. Yet you two think that you have to struggle by yourselves. Remember, you don't and you won't. It may feel like it at times but always remember that we are always here."

Rouge heard him sniffle quietly, he struggled not to cry but was quickly failing because the reality that his friends who became his family are always here have finally hit him and she was quick to pull him into an embrace. There is still much to go through, but they'll go through it together. One step at a time. One friend at a time.


	22. Chapter 22

Alert ears picked up every word said during Rouge and Sonic's...obviously private moment, wide sky blue eyes flickered between their two outlines from between the crack of the slightly opened kitchen door.

Listening in on private conversations like a gossip-monger is not what Tails intended to do, not at all. Though that's exactly what he did, a part of him wishes he didn't, just so he wouldn't have seen his older brother crumble like a wilted flower and break down in Rouge's arms.

The part that did make the kitsune listen in filled him with guilt, and deep down where he can't avoid it, he admits that he deserves to feel guilty. After all, he's one of the reasons why Sonic isn't himself...or rather who he wishes he could be anymore.

But...echoing in the teen's mind is the gut-wrenching sobs from his strong brother that'll forever leave an imprint in his memories...

"I'm confused, Rouge, by everything...I want to be free...but I'm scared because I don't know how to do this on my own."

What does he want to be free from? He's always been so happy, always so cheerful. That doesn't seem to be the case since Rouge is muttering comforting words to him while he cries out his heartache.

Tails didn't intend to listen in on their conversation. He most certainly didn't intend to get caught in the act by one angry echidna either. The kitsune's heart dropped heavily in his chest when he turned to meet the scrutinizing glare from Knuckles.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I- I uh-" Tails stammered out, having no idea what to say to ease the echidna's ire.

"That's what I thought." Knuckles reached out a hand and grabbed Tails' wrist in a light enough fashion where it didn't hurt, but also to where Tails couldn't break free either. "We're going to have a talk." Tails winced, this wasn't going to be a pleasant talk at all. "And  _you_." Knuckles turned around to stare Shadow in the eyes. " _I'll be dealing with you after this."_

 _'Huh...I guess I'm getting what I deserve, I wonder what Shadow did to get on Knuckles' bad side...'_ Tails thought to himself when Shadow's red eyes flickered to meet Tails' own blue. Then he was dragged away from the kitchen into the living room where the room was a mess. Mud, water, and the sight and scent of blood lingered. Broken furniture resided here as well as a disheveled notebook he's once seen in Sonic's possession before in the past.

Maybe his ideas didn't lead to the good intended results he was hoping to achieve...


	23. Chapter 23

Truthfully, Shadow still felt the panic gripping at his chest when images of Sonic in his near-death state sprung to life. How he had frozen up in that critical moment, he let his fears run wild at the worst time and they almost lost the blue blur because of that.

His gaze followed them to the living room, it wasn't that far, it's right in the place where the events truly first unraveled at. The ebony hedgehog inwardly winced at his stupidity at that moment, he still didn't believe that he let his guard down and this is what happened.

Shadow didn't wish to dwell on that, pushing the recent memories back he tuned in on the necessary conversation that's now taking place. He knows that after Tails has been thoroughly chewed out, he's next in line on the echidna's list.

"You wanna _see_ what your intelligence led to? Take a good look around you, there are consequences to every action and misdeed you make, Tails, and this is one of them!" Knuckles said, his voice growing louder and harsher with every word shortening with anger. "You knew that Amy wasn't quite right with her obsessive behavior! Getting her proper help should've been what you did Tails, _not_ poke the flames to make the fire bigger!" The echidna grit out. He released the kitsune from his grasp, staring at the teen with nothing but disappointment and seething rage. Tails flinched under that heavy stare, each word he said had felt like he had been slapped across the face.

"I thought I was helping...I thought I was making Sonic the mature hero he should be-"

"If you so much as _say_ one more toxic word I'll p _ummel the hell_ out of you." Knuckles hissed, obviously pissed off and greatly displeased at the fact that Tails is still not getting it through his thick skull. The teen instantly shut himself up, mouth pressed into thin lines to keep himself from saying anything else that may definitely make things even worse. "You, Amy, and every single one of those people out there seem to forget that Sonic _isn't_ this _toy_ you can mess with until he fits your deluded version of this perfect hero. He's a _real_ fucking person, with _real_ fucking feelings. He deserves to be treated with the same love we all get, he doesn't deserve to be mentally abused until the point of where he feels like he's obligated to live under these expectations _you_ made for him."

Tails kept his mouth shut, but he trembled under Knuckles' pure ire. There wasn't much else he could do, he could apologize but it wasn't Knuckles he needed to apologize to.

"Your 'intelligence' almost got him killed, you know. You have any smart words to say in light of that? Or do I need to beat it into you?" Knuckles said threateningly, Tails shook his head multiple times, knowing that Knuckles can and will knock literal sense into anybody's head. After that intense silence followed, Tails took this time to think. To see. To finally look past his ego and see the chaotic mess this room is. Every detail he saw had dread bleeding into his heart.

The obvious object belonging to the culprit of this disarray, Amy's broken pink hammer snapped into splinters. Tails almost gags when he sees dried blood staining the thick hammer, the reality is dawning on him more and more. For a brief moment, everything is stained red and the two-tailed kitsune sees Sonic lying deathly still on the ground with deathly pale skin and a haunting look in his eyes. Tails blinks once, twice, then more but the image is burned into his sight.

"Am-Amy did this..." He chokes out while shaking like a leaf through a brutal storm.

"Yes."

" _I_... _I_ did this..."

"Yeah. Yeah, you did this too, even if you weren't here, you still played a role in here." Knuckles offered no sympathy to the teen, being harsh with him was the only way he can get through the cocky brat.

"He looks okay, it's like nothing's happened." Tails said, nervously licking his lips, afraid to see what other mistakes his actions had resulted in other than severely hurting not only his hero but his older brother and their friends. Afraid to see Sonic lifeless like that again and _knowing_ that he could be _dead_ because he thought he could control him.

"You're a fool if you really believe he's okay just because he looks okay. If somebody you know went through a rough time but looked alright enough to you, does that mean they actually are okay or are they just faking it?"

_'I'm one of the greatest fools of us all for not noticing, Sonic, I can never apologize enough for not helping you in the beginning.'_ A ghostly memory of Knuckles, Tails, and Sonic laughing, grinning, and cracking jokes with each other while they were teens came to Knuckles' mind, they used to be so close in those days and now look where they are, Knuckles can remember how Sonic's grin faded into a frown while his emerald eyes held a distant sorrow in them. _'I was the first to see and I did nothing. Chaos, I'm so sorry.'_

. . .

Shorter chapters, but that means I'll update much more faster and efficiently than before. I'll be retouching up previous chapters, fixing typos and taking out my super long a/ns.

I honestly feel that I this story has helped me immensely figure out myself. I'm not quite there yet though, not by a long shot. But the progress I've made in helping myself mentally is huge, so I'm very proud about that. And I have all of you readers to thank for that. This has been a journey for me that I wasn't aware of where I was being led to at first, a little side project that got way more attention than I thought I was going to get. You guys have helped me so much, you've helped more than you think. Thank you, I appreciate and love all of you guys so freaking much. I don't think I'd get this far in opening myself up and loving me for me if I didn't have you readers to help.

I'm eternally grateful for you all getting me this far. You're all valid and I wish you nothing but the best.


	24. Chapter 24

Hugs from Rouge are therapeutic. Warm, comforting, protective...safe.

Sonic couldn't deny how much his mood lifted up after Rouge's hug. When his mind grew too loud, his fake smiles came effortlessly, and his heart beat heavily with pain...it seemed like a hug from a friend helped make that go away and to ease the pain. Even if it's temporary, the present disappears and he's almost real. Almost.

Just like on the Ark with Shadow...Shadow...

Shadow...he made that disappear...but that scared Sonic. Opening himself up was one thing, kissing a friend was another. Sonic...as much as he would like not to think about that, for now at least, he admits that it was nice...being that intimate with Shadow was nice. But, being in a relationship when Sonic is like this...that's out of the question really. 'Who would want a pretender, a faker, me, as their other? Nobody.'

Mindlessly, Sonic used a spoon pinched between his fingers to stir his now cold tea, silent as a mouse while he consciously avoids Rouge's gaze again. Rouge eyed him carefully, getting him to open up is like trying to unravel a tricky riddle, complicated. Sonic's heart pounded from heart to stone, heart to stone. One moment he's comfortable and feeling safe enough to let down his mask and reveal his real self. Then the next, he closes up, tells you what he wants you to hear so you don't have to be worried about him, so you believe that he's okay when he's not.

"Chaos I'm being pathetic you know." Sonic joked with a quiet laugh, breaking the silence, though it lacked the real mirth behind it."I cry too easily..."

Even as she stared, Rouge saw his demeanor shift before her eye-shadowed gaze. It happened in an instant, for a brief moment the bat could see his heart beating to stone, she watched the light in his eyes dim. Though she watched, with twisted fascination and deep concern, as Sonic hid behind his walls.

Rouge frowned, "Sonic. Look at me." She said this once again. "Please look at me."

His stirring stopped, the spoon against the glass clattering quietly, though it sounded as loud as bombs in that now deathly silent room. Frozen like a stone statue, the hedgehog refused to look up at her.

Getting help.

Seeking comfort.

Wanting to feel real.

Wishing to be happy again.

Chaos his heart yearned for this. It is the fear that holds him back. The one that claws at his chest in cold gripping fear. He's had his expectations be set before him, he's been forced to push aside what he truly wants in order to make everybody happy, except he wasn't happy.

Now he has that shot of freedom, to escape the shackles those expectations placed on him. Sonic doesn't have to live as a faker no more. The world looks to him like a hero capable of handling the pressure to be perfect. There's the hope in his eyes that can never be completely wiped away, the real him that doesn't hide behind masks and isn't afraid of anybody's opinion, that's the Sonic everybody knows.

That's the side of Sonic that he's afraid to show, the one he's learned to hide. Rouge can see how tense his body became. He feels as if he's the prey and she's the predator. Which hurt Rouge. But she does not blame him, he's been hurt and this is how he will respond. Protecting himself by protecting his friends. But Sonic's a friend, friends help friends.

With slight reluctance, Sonic glances up towards Rouge nervously. "I'm sorry-"

"-You have nothing to be sorry about," Rouge says, reassuring Sonic that it's okay. "Listen to me. You are not pathetic. Don't you ever think of yourself like that. You're so much more than that, remember. You matter. You've always mattered and you always will."

"That's the thing, Rouge. I don't feel like I matter. Not to you, not to me, not to anybody." Sonic said, his hands dropped into his lap, shoulders drooping, and head submissively lowered down. A saddened look, crestfallen and sorrowful overtook his features. The desperation in his eyes, the tremble in his body, the quiver in his lips.

"Why do you feel like this? We want to make this better for you, we want to help you get better and to be you. I know you're scared to speak from your heart, to speak from your mind, to even speak for yourself."

"...If I speak from my heart...the world would never look at me the same. I want to break down their expectations, I want to be me again. I really do. But I'm still scared, I'm still hurt, because what if the real me isn't the hero this world needs?" The strain in his voice was as noticeable as daylight. He stood up in an instant, chair shoved forcefully backwards onto the floor, Sonic's ears were pinned down and he looked desperately at Rouge who was startled from the sudden movement. "I've been the hero they needed. If I was the one they actually wanted then I'd be the  _real_  me. But I'm  _not_! Am I!? I'm  _not_! Because the real me isn't good enough for anybody!  _I'm not good enough!_  I'm not good enough for my  _friends_ , for my  _family_ , for  _me_!" Hysterical almost, Sonic's voice rose with each word, his voice raw with hurt.

He stopped.

Frozen in place.

Eyes widening with self-awareness. The realization that he's not just hurt by this, that he's more affected by everything than he thought, that he's  _angry_. Anger is not an emotion he's used to, though numbness is.

Sonic's shocked at himself for his outburst. He did not mean to lose control like that. Rouge is helping him, and he yells at her?

"I- I-" He's speechless, more than stunned, and he's so goddamned  _ashamed of himself_.

"You don't have to be sorry, hun." Rouge stood up, though in a gentler manner than Sonic did, she walked close to Sonic though she left a foot of space between them. "Bottling that up, hiding what you feel...it's hurting you. That's why you gotta let us help you, and it's not going to be easy." Rouge said, she crossed her arms over her chest. "This is going to be a process of recovery, this isn't just a 'mask' situation anymore."  _'The mask is just the beginning of your grief.'_

"...Then what is it? What's wrong with me?" The hedgehog asks with a softened voice as if he's afraid of talking.

"Nothing is wrong with you, that negativity here is messing with your head. Like I said, recovery, in order to feel yourself again, you've got to heal first."

"Rouge, how...how do you know it's like a...recovery process?"

"Because of Shadow, of course, he went through this in the past just as you are right now," Rouge said, the answer made Sonic's head snap up. "I think that's why you came here in the first place. Even if you didn't consciously know it at the time, you knew it in your mind. Shadow could help because he knows what it's like."

"...I trust Shadow...I feel safe with him...protected...more than I should feel like." Sonic said slowly, admitting this aloud sent a wave of vulnerability over him, making his chest tighten in fear. "I think- I think I messed up on the Ark."

The bat picked up, fairly quickly, how anxious Sonic can become like he is now. In her head, she begins to pick up his behavior. With her super-attentive hearing, she could hear Sonic taking shaky breaths, trying to calm himself down with no avail. Rouge took Sonic's hand into her own, gently squeezing his hand. "Breathe. Slowly in, then slowly out. In, out." She repeated the two words again, then again, and again. Eventually Rouge added onto it. "You're okay...You're safe...You're loved...You're appreciated..."

Sonic looked ready to cry again, he struggled to breathe calmly with his body reduced to trembling, how could he when his thoughts were running rampant in anxiousness. Time slowed down impossibly slow, what really was ten minutes had been like ten hours past by. Rouge held onto his hand, running her fingers along his palm in soothing circles while speaking comforting words to Sonic.

_'...How does Shadow do it? How come I can't? Why am I still a Faker?'_

. . .

WARNING: Lightly? implied sexual assault (it's implied but isn't actually direct or real, just some bad communication skills in the heat of the moment). Also a few swear words.

. . .

Knuckles' has had enough of everything lately. Every time they're close enough to understand Sonic, to help him, something always goes wrong. New obstacles pop up and they have to deal with that while Sonic and Shadow are off alone. The thought of the ebony hedgehog boiled Knuckles' blood. Knuckles should've been there for Sonic in the past, he should be there for him now.

And he wasn't. He wasn't and Shadow was. Except Shadow isn't the most trustworthy person in Knuckles' eyes. Far from it actually. Which is why after giving Tails a long needed dose of reality he was at the end of his patience. Why, even fabric scissors could cut the tiniest threads keeping his patience in line.

"I said that I'd trust you. For Rouge's sake. For the sake of my best friend, I said I'd trust you with him. You wanna tell me what the  _fuck_  you did that's pushed him  _further_  into his shell? To  _hurt_  him!?" Knuckles hissed, dragging Shadow outside and releasing him in a shove. Tails watched from the doorway, afraid and ashamed. But the teen did nothing as Knuckles went off on Shadow.

Shadow allowed himself to be dragged, he didn't feel the bone crushing grip the echidna had on his arm. He's too preoccupied at the moment with his head. Shadow couldn't stop himself from feeling guilty. Getting that friendly, that intimate with Sonic isn't the right thing to do, it isn't what he intended to do and now he's afraid that Sonic shut himself away from every body this time. He can see the way that mask works, it works in shields that can be stripped down to reveal a scared person who just wants to be accepted. It's like a shield itself, Sonic's mental defenses both protect and hurt him at once. Like a poison and a cure in one, not truly fixed, not truly broken, but still functioning.

Sonic let himself be vulnerable around him, he wanted Shadow's help. But Shadow is the reason Sonic is hiding behind a mask this time. An action he will not forgive himself for.

"...I took advantage of him..." That's what left Shadow's mouth, but that's not what he meant. Not at all.

Silence.

Tense. Awful. Deafening.

Silence.

"You. Did.  ** _What_**?" Knuckles' voice took on an aggressive, malice-filled tone. One that matched his changing demeanor, his body stance ready to pounce and beat the life out of the ultimate lifeform.

Shadow could feel the tan in his muzzle drain away in paleness once he realize that that wasn't the right thing to say, at all.

The echidna's mind stopped processing rational thoughts clearly. His body shaking with barely contained rage. Knuckles balled his hands into fists that could break stone, everything in his sight bleeding red with  _fury_.

Shadow...he took  _ **advantage**  _of Sonic?

He  **hurt**  Sonic?

 **He took**   _ **advantage**_?!

Before Shadow could correct himself Knuckles lashed out, his mind out for revenge, finally allowing himself to fall under the influence of his anger. He doesn't have mercy for those who  _break_   _promises_.  **Especially**  for people who hurt his friends.

* * *

**hhhhhhh...emotions, am I right. it's a real big mess.**

**Thank you all for the reviews, thank you for the support, I love you guys so much.**

**Leave a comment or question in the reviews about this chapter please, those are incredibly encouraging and uplifting for this tired author.**

**EDIT: I added about three paragraphs in here, but it's okay, it's more of clarification on current feelings if that makes sense. It doesn't. I'm super sleep deprived but I really wanted to update.**

**EDIT: I know Shadow didn't take advantage of Sonic, however he feels (incredibly) guilty for the kiss and used a poor set of words in a case of miscommunication.**


	25. Chapter 25

Tails sat down on the GUN agent's furniture, Knuckles ended his rant minutes ago, leaving the teen alone with his thoughts in a disheveled living room. Tails thought that when Knuckles left, so would his guilt. But it hadn't. Instead the guilt only worsened with each passing second in which another memory of Sonic came fleeting by.

'I've been the worst brother to ever possibly exist. How could I do this to Sonic?' Tails thought to himself, how could he redeem himself? Did he even have a chance at forgiveness from Sonic? Would he even deserve to be forgiven?

"No...I don't..." In his hands was the notebook, he held it gently. Afraid that it might tear or mess up Sonic's journal. Shutting his eyes, Tails breathed in deeply once, then his eyes snapped open and he flipped to the first page of the notebook. The diary entries were out of order in different dates, but his gaze flickered to the many different dates until he found the oldest of them.

Dated seven years ago. A single sentence that spoke volumes.

_I'm starting to not feel...well...like me, it's as if I'm a faker with a mask of dishonesty._

Tails blinked, Sonic's repeated different varieties of the same answer across multiple, if not all of his entries. A faker. Is that what being a hero did to him? Guilt settled into his stomach, feeling queasy and ill, though Tails went through more pages.

_Smile. Smile. Bite back your words and smile. Nobody will notice._

_They don't notice._

_I'm not me._

_They don't notice._

_I'm hiding._

_They don't care._

_I feel barren._

_They don't care._

_I've got lies to share._

The sardonic like poem was like a hard punch to the gut. After reading again and again, Tails tried picturing Sonic in his head. The image of his brother smiling widely came to, how can someone with the brightest, happiest smile feel like this.

Sick with guilt, Tails turned the page quickly, hoping to get the image of Sonic smiling widely out of his head quickly. It's the same image, it's the same Sonic, except Tails can see how forceful and utterly  _fake_ that smile is.

"I'm so, so sorry..." Tails voice is shaky with regret, "I should've helped you. I should've been there for you." The kitsune is far too absorbed in his self pity to notice that he's not alone.

"Except you  _weren't._ " Sonic's voice cut in, Tails looks up in shock to see Sonic standing in front of him. Sonic looked and sounded exhausted, even if Tails hadn't eavesdropped on Sonic and Rouge he still would've instantly knew that Sonic had been crying. There was the undeniable sign of almost puffy eyes, most likely from rubbing at them too hard and crying his heart out, the hedgehog's voice held a strain to it, raw with grief.

How it pained the kitsune to see his brother, his role model look broken, where he can finally see the damage and the what the weight of the world has cost him

"I'm sorry." Tails said, "I'm sorry."

"Are you really?" Sonic asked it, hoping to believe it, but his heart sank when Tails did not answer.

Tails was going to say yes, he was sorry. The guilt chipped at his conscious mind. Tails is sorry, but he began to think harder, think between the blurred lines.

He is sorry for this, yes, but was he  _wrong?_

No. There's no possible way he could actually be wrong.

Tails knows he's intelligent, it was rare for him to be wrong. The world has always told him of his role, the always correct brother of the hero, Tails knows what's best for his friends and family. Even if his decisions can hurt those he cares about he can't be wrong.

What Knuckles said wasn't true. What Rouge said hadn't been right. They don't get the right to question Tails because they don't understand how to see the bigger picture. All of his decisions and controlling behavior is all for the greater good.

So...Tails is sorry, but this how it should remain to be. He is sorry, but he's not wrong.

"...No..."

* * *

****Sorry for the delay, I've been terribly sick as of late and I'm just getting back into the hang of writing again. Thank you all for the kudos, comments, and bookmarks! You're all very kind readers and I'm delighted people are reading my story.


	26. Chapter 26

**_Breaking News_ **

_Mobius News Daily_

_Sonic Updates_

This just in,  _Sonic the hedgehog_  has been seen bruised and bloodied in the home of none other than  _Shadow the hedgehog_  and  _Rouge the bat_. Two notorious GUN agents known to have ties with infamous  _Dr. Robotnik_  during Robotnik's failed attempts of world domination. There also rumors of _Amy Rose_ , Sonic's girlfriend and fellow heroine, has been taken into  _GUN_  custody under false orders.

It is believed that Sonic has bravely fought against Shadow in an attempt to protect Miss Amy Rose from harm when Rouge injured Rose while our beloved hero was distracted.

We assume  _Team_   _Dark_  has been up to terrible deeds and are trying to bring our freedom fighters into it, as  _Knuckles the echidna_  was seen holding hands with the spy Rouge two hours later outside of her home along with  _Tails the fox_ , a teen genius and Sonic's young brother.

Sources say that Rouge is known to steal priceless gems and artifacts, and it's common sense to think that she's only using Knuckles to get to the widely known yet still mysterious  _Master Emerald._  And that Rouge was the one to bring Miss Rose into GUN custody as well.

And that's not all. When our skilled journalists of  _Mobius Daily News_ got close up photos of Sonic and Shadow, there is captured images of Shadow kidnapping our beloved hero! We can only hope that our other heroes can come to Sonic's aid before the fiends otherwise known as Team Dark can act.

 _Mobius Daily News_  will update with more information at a later hour today.

. . .

Red.

Red.

Red.

All of it red.

Years ago, when they were teenagers, Knuckles had the tendency to be brash and hot-tempered, though he's gained patience through the years and always thought before he hit on most good days.

Today was not one of those days.

Today he's seen red.

The red of Amy's dress, the red of Rouge's lips, the red of Shadow's quills, and the red of Sonic's blood dried on the floor.

Shadow's heart skipped in his chest, pumping him full of adrenaline when he was forced to dodge a flurry of punches from Knuckles who held no mercy for the hedgehog. Internally the striped hedgehog cursed at himself, for saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing.

The hedgehog didn't know exactly what was going through the echidna's mind, but he got the gist of it. Hurt Shadow as much as he could any way he could, preferably with fists.

Knuckles kept up to speed with Shadow's dodges. Inside his head all he could see was his best friend, that fake smile plastered on his face all because he felt like he had to be the world's puppet. Because Knuckles wasn't there to help it left him feeling horribly guilty. That guilt bled through like spilled ink, dripping everywhere and making his emotions and his rationality spiral out of control. Then the dripping guilt dried into anger.

"I misspoke, alright!"

Still…Knuckles ignored Shadow's words, not that he could hear them through the inner mantra in his mind that repeated the same thing over and over.  _Revenge, revenge, revenge._

Shadow jumped backwards, wary of the echidna. The more distance between them, the better. Knuckles clearly did not wish to talk anything out now. Shadow figured that out instantly when Knuckles kept slashing out, kicking and punching at any and all vital points on the hedgehog's body.

Over and over, Shadow dodged, and Shadow evaded while Knuckles growled after missing his target. Though Knuckles seemed almost pleased when he managed to land a hit on Shadow. "Did you not hear me?" Shadow hissed, one more slip-up like that and Knuckles could seriously hurt him. The echidna may not have the speed that Sonic and Shadow have, but he has the strength to (literally) crush mountains.

"I heard." Knuckles said in a strangely calm tone despite the anger in his eyes gleaming like a violet-tinted fire. He turned his head and faced the house, as if he was lost in thought and not trying to, most likely, murder the hedgehog before him. "…Sonic is like a brother to me…and I've failed to be there for him…to protect him." Knuckles' strange tone held regret in it.

The GUN agent relaxed his defensive stance a bit, only to regret that when Knuckles closed the gap between them faster than Shadow thought he could move, and Shadow received a heavy blow to the muzzle.

"I won't fail him now." Knuckles glares at Shadow venomously.

Their fight had begun.

. . .

"I thought you would help me!" Sonic said, his voice cracked and was raw with hurt, but he was stubborn in not crying again within minutes. "I put all my trust in you, thinking that whenever I had a problem, I could trust you to help!"  _Because that's what family does!_

"I  _am_  helping you!" Tails said loudly. He faced his brother with a defiant gaze, holding his chin up and ignoring the dread blooming in his chest like an unwanted weed. " _You_  need to see the bigger picture. This world needs a  _hero_ , and that hero  _is you_. Like it or not, you can't be yourself because you have your heroic image the world wants to see."

"I don't want to be the world's hero if it means I have to play pretend just because people have this perfect image of me!" Sonic stood while he clenched and unclenched his fists and sighed wearily. Tails forced himself to look at his brother, seeing more clearly that perhaps he was wrong. Because why has his always brave, always strong, always genuinely happy brother gone? Where was that hero who could do anything?

The kitsune didn't understand this sadness in his brother at all. Even though he's read the words his brother never spoke Tails still didn't get it. The fact that even his brother was starting to question him ticked him off.

That is, until he got an idea.

"You saw the journalists, you know this whole thing is going to blow up, right." Tails said shortly. Sonic nodded his head once; he didn't trust himself to speak in fear of crying again. All the tears he's shed left him feeling shameful and weak, and to do it in front of his little brother…Tails walked over to Sonic, in his hands was the hedgehog's notebook, and slowly waved it in front of Sonic almost mockingly. When Sonic tried to grab his notebook, Tails pulled it back before he could. "Big brother…I'll help you with everything. But I need  _your_  help. You would help me,  _right_?"

"What are you playing at Tails. Do you even know what I want help for-"

"-You love me, right?"

"Of course I do! Tails! Why aren't you answering my-"

"-If you loved me, you'd listen to me without interruption."

"…" Sonic shut his mouth, he stared warily at Tails. Often Tails had Sonic listening to every word with ease. Though he remembers with a heavy heart that everybody has changed. Including his brother Tails.

Sonic thinks why Tails changed. Tails grew up with the world constantly watching them, always criticizing or praising what they thought was wrong about them. It could explain why he's always been so focused, so hellbent on giving the world perfect images because that's what he thinks is the right thing to do. Tails has always followed the words of others, he's always been such an impressionable child who's well in his teen years.

Tails faintly let the littlest of smiles grace his face. Good. Sonic's full attention is on him and only him, he's got to make this quick before Rouge, Shadow, or Knuckles overhear. This should be easy.` A little emotional manipulation never actually hurt anyone. How does Tail know this exactly? Simple, he's been doing it for years. "Come home with me, I know you're upset…I know I've caused lots of trouble. And I'm sorry…I really am truly sorry."

That was all it took for Sonic to falter in his sorrow and anger and allow Tails to tell his pretty lies that make Sonic faker and lost.

* * *

**Thank you for all the reviews guys I'm grinning like an idiot cause of the Tails feedback I got in the previous chapter. What do you think of him now? I'm back for a short while and I'll get straight to the point. I'm not doing well mentally and that's okay y'know. I'm still trying 'cause I know it gets better. And I've been going off on a lot of college visits and summer camps where I couldn't access my phone or laptop. :/ But that's all coming to an end and I'll get free time so that's awesome.**

**Anyways hows that manipulation going, you think Sonic's gonna go home with his brother and become a depressed empty shell of himself? Or do you think one of their friends are gonna come to Sonic's rescue? What happened to that kiss business? Don't worry next chappie will cover that along with Amy too.**


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